Judging in our Meetings (Or What Did Church Lead You to Think About Yesterday), 9/20

Kent Larsen

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How often do we decide that a talk given in Sacrament Meeting, or a lesson given at church just wasn’t very good?

If you have done this, can I ask “What were your criteria for judging? How did you know it was good or not?”

I think the issue of criteria is an important one. The scriptures warn us against judging, and even if we rely on the Joseph Smith Translaton’s clarification that we should “judge not unrighteously”, we still need to be careful about that word “unrighteously”. While I am sure that the word is much more than this, at a minimum I think righteous judgment must be objective and take into account all relevant information. I can’t see how to do that without carefully selecting criteria, and attempting to fairly balance those criteria. The more that I think about it, judging fairly and righteously is VERY hard — maybe its easier to just avoid it.

In addition, the more that I look around, the more that I see quick, unthinking, judgment. We readily say that a movie or show wasn’t good, when we have never given the first thought to what makes a movie or show good. Of course what we mean is that we didn’t like it—since we haven’t thought about criteria, we don’t really know if it is good. In our society everyone does this. We all think its ok to express our like or dislike of something AS A JUDGMENT OF QUALITY without giving it any serious thought. And we rarely, if ever, give any thought to the feelings of the individual(s) who created what we are criticizing. At best, we realize the potential offense and keep quiet, thinking to ourselves that its not good.

How are we judging? Are we judging righteously?

Beyond the feeling of the person whose efforts we are criticizing, we are also cheating ourselves with these kinds of quick, unthinking judgments. When we decide that a talk or a lesson isn’t good, we have simplified everything. We have reduced it to a simple judgment, and that often means we no longer have to think about it. And when we do this, we have cheated ourselves of the possibility to get something out of it. We no longer have to pay attention, and we can turn to our phones and watch cat videos or near-accidents or whatever attracts our attention. Does that help us in any way?

In this and in many previous posts in this series, I am trying to suggest that each of us can have better experiences at Church if we change our perspective, looking for what we can learn from talks and lessons instead of simply judging them as good or bad. When we do this, we will find that our own experience is better—simply because we have found pearls in what we thought was all dross.

So, if you aren’t thinking this way, maybe try it next Sunday, or the next time you are in a class or meeting. If you have already thoughts inspired by what happened at church, what are they? How did you react to what happened in Church yesterday? What did you notice? What did others do that you found interesting or different? Did you end up thinking differently? Do you think your reactions were what they should be? Were they looking for what God had to tell you? Did your reactions make things better?

This is the latest invitation for reactions to local meetings, continuing a series of weekly posts that started with my post on September 25th, 2025 about how we receive what happens in Church meetings—sermons, lessons and anything else—and enter a conversation with them, magnifying what was said or adding what we think. In these posts I’m asking us all to think about how we listen and receive what happens at Church. If we only listen for mistakes, or things that bother us, what does that say about us? Is it most important to criticize others? Or to try to change ourselves?

So please, write down reactions and thoughts to what happened in Church. You might keep your own ‘spiritual journal’, or, if you like, you can post your reactions below. I’m adding my own reactions and thoughts as a comment to this post — instead of as a part of this post, because my reactions aren’t any better than anyone else’s.

Let me emphasize that this is NOT a place to criticize what is wrong with church or your fellow congregants. The point is to post what you learned because of what happened at Church or how that led you to think. It’s about the good things we can get out of Church, not the negative things that disturbed or upset us. It doesn’t have to be orthodox, traditional or even on topic.

If you like, make your response in the format, “They said or did this, and I said or thought that.” Even the things you dislike the most can be turned into lessons for what the gospel teaches we should do.

My hope is that these reactions serve as an example of a better way to treat what happens at Church instead of the perennial complaints about speaker or teacher preparation or ability, or complaints that the Church should do things differently.

Comments

13 responses to “Judging in our Meetings (Or What Did Church Lead You to Think About Yesterday), 9/20”

  1. Kent Larsen

    In case it’s not clear from the OP: Let me emphasize that this is NOT a place to criticize what is wrong with church or your fellow congregants. The point is to post what you learned because of what happened at Church or how that led you to think. It’s about the good things we can get out of Church, not the negative things that disturbed or upset us. It doesn’t have to be orthodox, traditional or even on topic.

  2. Kent Larsen

    Here’s a few of my thoughts in reaction to what I experienced in Church yesterday (9/20):

    • Our Bishop himself announced tithing settlement in Sacrament Meeting, emphasizing that the tithing declaration was a minor part of meeting with him — instead he said the purpose is to meet the ward members. Fifteen seconds of tithing and ten to fifteen minutes of getting to know you. I think that’s exactly what Bishops should be doing. I hear too many people saying that they don’t know or trust their Bishop — and that seems like a tragedy.
    • In Sunday School the teacher pointed out two things about Isaiah that are commonly not known: 1) Quotations of and paraphrases of Isaiah make up about 35% of the Book of Mormon — so, do you think the BoM authors thought that it was important? And 2) Isaiah is a poet — the book is almost all poetry. The poetry in the Old Testament is made up of parallel metaphors, and it occurred to me that this form of poetry, by giving two metaphors for the same idea helps us to triangulate the message, and zero into ideas that aren’t explicit in the text, and may not be things that can be easily stated explicitly.
    • Our priesthood lesson looked at Elder Christofferson’s talk “The Character of Christ”, in which he suggested that character is rooted in the motivations in our hearts. But it seems to me that even if our motivations are the same as those of Christ, we still have the difficulty of figuring out how to apply those motivations to specific situations. For example, when dealing with a wayward child, is it best to establish strict rules, or allow the child to make choices? A lot depends on the child, and what is best for their personality and view of the world, which makes the decision difficult. Any particular approach could be loving or could be harsh.
  3. Anon

    I am Sunday School President and I noted yesterday that our teachers (in Sunday School and R.S. and E.Q.) all struggled and seemed frustated by the shorter lesson time. Setting up some main points, covering a verse/quote or two and fielding comments in 20 minutes is a tough job. I jokingly told the Bishop that we should have cut the high council speaker. I wonder if Salt Lake is aware of the difficulty?

    We also discussed Chrsitofferson’s talk. Our discussion turned to Grace and how it transforms human hearts.

    We did have our monthly linger longer, which is one of the best things our ward has ever done. It is where I was able to get additional feedback from our teachers while munching a brownie (or two).

  4. LHL

    Annual Primary Program; the one time a year when (it’s basically assured) that one will “feel the Spirit”. Not to be missed.

    Otherwise, on most weeks, once the Sacrament has been taken; it’s simply bland drudgery and pablum; on endless repeat.

  5. RLD

    Stake conference this week. Our stake president spoke on how the atonement has the power to change us, and we shouldn’t limit ourselves by insisting “That’s just how I am.” Even if we can’t see how or when something will change, we can lay it on the altar, be clear that we want it to change, and leave it in the Lord’s hands.

    “I’m just not outgoing” was one of his examples, so I recognized how it applied to me.

    Elder Teixeira presided, and he surprised me. He spoke about how, while serving as a general authority, the Lord prompted him that he needed to up his game…as a landscape photographer. He’d been doing it as a hobby for 30 years, but felt he needed to dig in and learn more about the technical parts of the craft. So he enrolled in a university program and graduated with a degree while serving in the Presidency of the Seventy. There was no mention of it somehow being critical to his Church service, just art for its own sake.

    I’ve long thought that Jesus is a Creator, and if we want to follow all of his example we need to be doing something creative. (Though “something creative” is really broad, not just “art.”) But this was taking it far more seriously than I expected. It made me think about how I’ve been coasting on the musical skills I learned in my youth and undergrad days for 30 years, and wonder if I should change that.

  6. Kent Larsen

    Anon, I’d love to hear what all that led you to think. Did it lead to any productive thoughts? Or help you notice any beauty? Give you any insight?

    LHL, really? every instant of the meeting was that way? You didn’t find any way to think about what happened that gave you any inspiration or joy?

    RLD, I like what your SP said — our mental approaches are often what limits us the most.
    And I have a warm place in my heart for Elder Teixeira. I first met him when he was a very different Elder Teixeira — he was the AP when I arrived in the Lisbon Portugal mission in 1981. And I’m fascinated to learn about his photography. Thanks so much for mentioning it.

    And yes, I think your way of looking at the word “Creator” is exactly right. I’ve said things like that occasionally — and now I’m thinking that I need to step up!

  7. RLD

    Turns out Elder Teixeira also talked about his photography at BYU-Idaho’s graduation in April, and the Newsroom article on the Church website includes a sample. Stunning.

  8. Alma the Youngest

    It strikes me that you are judging those who judge. Instead of judging, maybe share what you learned from those judgments. As you can see, it is difficult to suspend judgment, and it is impossible for one to do it objectively. Our ancestors have survived due to judgment (safety, trustworthiness, etc), and we turn that off at our own peril.

  9. Kent Larsen

    Perhaps I am, Alma the Youngest. Am I judging unrighteously? Should we defend those who judge unthinkingly?

    I should add that a lot of this judgment is built into our culture — we all do it unthinkingly. I have been trying to remove a lot of this unintended judgment about things (describing things with the word “good” when I really mean “I like”, and its quite difficult. Its built into our normal conversational patterns.

    But I think a lot can be fixed by simply being aware of what we are doing.

  10. Alma the Youngest

    Who are we to judge what is “unrighteously” or “unthinkingly”? I say, “Live and let live.”

  11. TexasAbuelo

    KL’s comment about the Bishop using tithing declarations: “ Fifteen seconds of tithing and ten to fifteen minutes of getting to know you….. that’s exactly what Bishops should be doing. I hear too many people saying that they don’t know or trust their Bishop — and that seems like a tragedy…” was sad but enlightening. Years ago (70’s and early 80’s) we as bishops used not only tithing settlement but a wide array of circumstances and situations to get to know our ward members personally… some were more formal like tithing settlement and annual temple recommend interviews… most were simply us responding to the promptings we felt as “shepherds of the flock…”.and cresting circumstances … to fulfill a responsibility which in the last several years has been de emphasized, diffused and perhaps even over delegated. I was called in my 20’s as bishop of a neighboring ward of about 500+ in disarray…. no one was particularly surprised when I’d managed to personally see and visit and talk and in many cases bless virtually every adult and most youth within the first 6 months or so. Of great help was the gift of discernment explicitly bestowed on bishops in those days at the time of their ordination. We didn’t look to see who we could pawn people and their problems off to initially — we absorbed the first burdens and built trust then look for help

  12. Alma the Youngest

    TexasAbuelo, bishops should internalize the notion that others also can have the gift of discernment at the same time as them and not try to use it as a trump card in virtually every situation. Otherwise, they often come off as the biggest narcissists in the world, especially if they get something wrong and clearly are not discerning properly. I think this sort of pride leads one to judge if judgment was done “unrighteously” or “unthinkingly.”

  13. TexasAbuelo

    Alma—- don’t ever recall a fellow bishop using discernment as a “trump card”. Sorry you had that experience… ones I’ve worked with used it to guide them to members needing a word of encouragement or help or strengthening… not asca gotcha card or some tool of superiority… anyone doing the latter sure as shooting clearly has lost their way re: what spiritual gifts are for —- to bless and comfort and help

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