Mirth in Marriage

March 17, 2010 | 16 comments
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The other night as we were getting ready for bed, my wife said, “You know Dane, I really miss laughing. I don’t mean like little *he he he* laughs, I mean deep, cleansing laughter.” And she’s right. Between children, school, and the pressures of responsible adult life, laughter kind of got lost somewhere.

I don’t really have any special insights on this one, but I’d love to hear the collective wisdom of the moms and dads out there: where do you and your spouse find carefree fun in your family?

16 Responses to Mirth in Marriage

  1. Paul on March 17, 2010 at 10:55 am

    It’s really easy to fall into this trap. For us it was when we had teenagers and babies — awake late at night and early in the morning, working too hard and weighed down by church callings and the muck of everyday life.

    We finally realized the we (my wife and I) needed to break away from time to time. For us, it was the week between our birthdays (ok — once a year was a pretty lousy cadence, but it was a start), and we could feel “light” again for just a couple of days.

    As our older kids had complications, our lives got darker and darker until we finally got help (for us, therapy and a 12-step program) that allowed us to relearn how to enjoy life, and one another, and our kids, instead of simply enduring it all.

    On the happier side of that process, now we really do take things one day at a time, and we look for chances to laugh and to smile and to appreciate one another.

  2. Ben on March 17, 2010 at 11:26 am

    My wife and I have a lot of deep laughs, but we have no kids, I work part-time from home, she’s a PhD student, and neither of us is the Bishop/RS President. Other than being dirt poor and having an uncertain future, we’re missing a lot of stress that “normal” couples seem to have. I don’t know how much that accounts for our regular humor.

  3. JamesM on March 17, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    My wife and I laugh hysterically at and about our kids all the time. Maybe that will come to an end as they get old enough to realize why we’re laughing so hard…

  4. Jos. Jr. on March 17, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    But, but, but…what about the proscription against “all loud laughter”?

    I never did understand the rationale behind that, BTW…

  5. jks on March 17, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    Our solution is to actually be funny occasionally and that seems to make the other person laugh.
    Also, it does help to get away from responsibilities. I remember a few years ago thinking why bother inviting people over. If I have to worry about making dinner and taking care of children, I am hardly an entertaining hostess. I’m not any fun to be around because all my focus has to be in taking care of stuff.

  6. Coffinberry on March 17, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    This sounds weird, but lately Hulu re-runs of the original Dick Van Dyke show have had all of us (mom, dad, and last-two-in-the-nest 12 & 16 y.olds) in stitches. It feels good.

    Also, go outside and play at the park. When we had a few more kids at home, playing “groundies” was a lot of fun. Our now-missionary-but-then-16-year-old taught us how to play… “it” is trying to tag one of the others. “It” has to have his/her eyes closed. Everyone else is sneaking around trying to stay on the equipment without being tagged. If any player’s feet are touching the ground, though, when “It” calls “Groundie”, then that person becomes it, even without having been tagged. Mind you, this only works if there are no little kids trying to play on the playground (little meaning non-family members under, say, five who might get knocked down by your big children). It is best played at night, before curfew. It is very funny.

  7. WVS on March 17, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    We watch “Big Bang Theory” together. Being a science type, I actually see these guys as (nearly) real. We both end up nearly choking to death from some of the stuff. But that sort of thing may be outside your desired answer area. She also made me go to a Brian Regan show. We were laughing all the way home.

  8. Mark B. on March 17, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    If you can’t find things to laugh about, then you’re either dull beyond words or you’re walking through life with your eyes closed.

    Just now, checking my email Junk folder, I found this gem:

    It is understandable that you may have a bit uneasy, because I do not know, but I have a lucrative business proposal for a mutual interest to share with you. I got the link on the search for someone who meets I propose a business relationship.

    I am Mr. Patrick Tues W Chan, executive director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. have obscured in a business proposal for you.

    which was followed a few hours later by someone offering to help:

    I humbly believe that you are an educated person coupled with the fact that you know very much that Fraudsters are everywhere trying to defraud unsuspecting individuals of their hard earned money.l am Farida Waziri.

    . . .

    Per-adventure you fell victim to Fraudsters [scammers] and we are looking for evidence from you so that we can get these people and prosecute to life imprisonment for tarnishing the image of our country and making the world an unbearable place.Hence, we implore you to take precautions.

    You can laugh, or you can go read [Blogname deleted].

  9. scw on March 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Southpark and Family Guy.

  10. Jim Donaldson on March 17, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Have funny children. It really helps.

  11. Alison Moore Smith on March 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Making fraud with the fraudster.

    Fun. Ny.

  12. Raymond Takashi Swenson on March 17, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    At least once a year our family has to watch “The Court Jester” with Danny Kaye (“The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle. The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.”), “Raising Arizona” with Nicholas Cage, John Goodman and Holly Hunter (“We broke out of prison because it no longer had anything to offer us.”), and “The Castle”, an Australian film about a humble family that goes to court to resist an eminent domain taking of their home next to the airport runway by an Australian version of FedEx (Lebanese neighbor: “Man say, you sell house or my friend beat you up. I say, my friend drop bomb on you!”).

    I also wholeheartedly agree that “The Big Bang Theory” is often excruciatingly funny, precisely because it so accurately captures the lives and concerns and viewpoints of science geeks. (Woman physicist to male physicist: “I can’t believe you actually believe in string theory instead of quantum gravity. We can’t get married–what would we tell the children!” Jewish science dweeb: “Tell your girlfriend’s friend that I speak five languages–six, if you count Klingon.”)

    Having 12 grandkids 10 and under is also good for a lot of fun. Example: After one of our daughters-in-law had twin boys, she took a few weeks to pick names for them. Their 5-year-old brother got impatient, and christened his brothers “Mason” and “Stegosaurus”.

  13. Dan on March 17, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    we play Super Mario Brothers Wii. :)

  14. Stephanie on March 17, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Carefree fun? What’s that?

  15. Bruce H. on March 18, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

    Yonder nor sorghum stenches shoulder ladle gulls torque wet stranglers.

    YMMV. Some people don’t get it at all.

  16. Eliezer on March 18, 2010 at 10:53 pm