What Did Church Lead You to Think About Yesterday, 3/8?

In these posts I am trying to suggest that each of us can have better experiences at Church if we take responsibility for our experiences. We can choose to find ways to learn and benefit from what happens regardless of whether it fits our perception of what is “good.”

What we get out of any experience depends on how we look at it. Its not different from what many artists figure out—they understand that how you see the  world before you is more important than what you see. You might call it ‘active listening’ or shifting perspective. It just means that you see differently.

In my case, I tend to focus narrowly, thinking about groups of words or sentences, sometimes taking them out of context and thinking about what they say, even if the speaker didn’t intend what I heard. It’s not at all like what we’re taught in school, where the focus is on understanding accurately and completely what the speaker or text says. Its about pulling out useful or inspiring thoughts in spite of what was said.

So, if you aren’t thinking this way, maybe try it next Sunday, or the next time you are in a class or meeting. If you have already thoughts inspired by what happened at church, what are they? How did you react to what happened in Church yesterday? What did you notice? Did you end up thinking differently? Do you think your reactions were what they should be? Were they looking for what God had to tell you? Did your reactions make things better?

This is the latest invitation for reactions to local meetings, continuing the spirit of my post on September 25th about how we receive what happens in Church meetings—sermons, lessons and anything else—and enter a conversation with them, magnifying what was said or adding what we think. In these posts I’m asking us all to think about how we listen and receive what happens at Church. If we only listen for mistakes, or things that bother us, what does that say about us? Is it most important to criticize others? Or to try to change ourselves?

The point here is that no matter how poorly prepared the speaker or teacher is, or no matter how what happens triggers us, or is objectively or doctrinally wrong, we can still find elements in what is said and what happens that inspires and edifies us. Even if church meetings aren’t conducted in a way that reaches us, we can take responsibility and find a way to feel the spirit.

So please, write down reactions and thoughts to what happened in Church. You might keep your own ‘spiritual journal’, or, if you like, you can post your reactions below. I’m adding my own reactions and thoughts as a comment to this post — instead of as a part of this post, because my reactions aren’t any better than anyone else’s.

Let me emphasize that this is NOT a place to criticize what is wrong with church or your fellow congregants. The point is to post what you learned because of what happened at Church or how that led you to think. It’s about the good things we can get out of Church, not the negative things that disturbed or upset us. It doesn’t have to be orthodox, traditional or even on topic.

If you like, make your response in the format, “They said or did this, and I said or thought that.” Even the things you dislike the most can be turned into lessons for what the gospel teaches we should do.

My hope is that these reactions serve as an example of a better way to treat what happens at Church instead of the perennial complaints about speaker or teacher preparation or ability, or complaints that the Church should do things differently.


Comments

7 responses to “What Did Church Lead You to Think About Yesterday, 3/8?”

  1. Because I was traveling this week, I wasn’t able to attend Church. So, here are a few of the things I thought about because of attending Church meetings a week ago (3/1):

    • One presentation that I heard at a conference recently talked about how those interviewed by telephone for surveys often thank the interviewers for listening to them — we all need to be heard. IMO this is one of the benefits of Fast and Testimony meeting — members get to say what they are thinking and be heard. I don’t think we should underestimate how important this is for Church members.
    • I know there isn’t really a rule about it, but when I visit another ward for testimony meeting, I wonder whether it is a good idea to get up and give a testimony. Yes, I know it’s ok, and it happens all the time. But I also wonder if it’s not getting in the way of those who are members of that ward.
    • I’m also curious about the thought processes we go through while debating whether or not to get up. Often speakers mention struggling with whether to get up or not. What factors are legitimate? And what factors are just your brain talking yourself out of getting up (or into getting up). I’m not suggesting that there should be rules, but I do wonder what people are thinking.
    • One of the children who got up to give a testimony seemed to shrink once they arrived at the pulpit. Once they were the subject of the congregation’s attention, every word seemed tentative, quiet. No doubt you have seen children do similar things. I know that feeling of vulnerability, of exposure. And it’s wonderful to see someone struggle with finding the confidence to get up. Good for that child!
  2. This is probably a threadjack but, Church is bringing me down lately. I’ve decided I just don’t have the character or even desire to be in the Celestial kingdom.

    This week it was all about serve, serve, serve, love your neighbor, love your neighbor, love your neighbor. I finally had to walk out of RS. I know that sounds silly, but I spent five years taking care of a dying father, with little family help and pretty much zero help from ward members. I have care-giver fatigue and I have a visceral reaction when people talk about service. Can’t do it, won’t do it. So tired I don’t care if I go to hell. If that is the celestial kingdom, count me out.

  3. Kent,
    Thank you for your encouragement for us to think about how we think. I especially appreciate your “thought processes we go through while debating whether or not to get up.” In my case, whether to get up and leave when some egregious topic is being discussed, like the “revelation”/proclamation on the family, or raise my hand to join the discussion. In this case, patience was rewarded by some braver-than-me souls who offered that although it has some positive points, we also need to acknowledge the pain and brokenness that it can cause.
    In another meeting I was impressed with the courage of an admittedly left-brain person trying to make sense of a literal reading of Lot’s wife. Concluding that there are some things in scripture that can’t be reconciled literally, one needs to be careful about what may be added for clarification or explanation of symbols.
    I love the thoughtful people in my neighborhood.

  4. Our Elder’s Quorum got into a substantial digression about valuing differences vs. valuing conformity, with the sense that the Church has shifted towards the former over time. How men should dress for church was used as an example. There was a strong consensus that we shouldn’t judge people for what they wear (which was probably good for our new convert to hear, given that he hasn’t adopted “the uniform” of a white shirt and tie). But then there was also a recognition that some people do have expectations, and we should be mindful of that, especially when passing the sacrament and such.

    I was impressed by the balance and generosity expressed. I only wish I’d thought sooner of C.S. Lewis’s line in the Screwtape Letters: “Without [the ceaseless labour of devils] the variety of usage within the Church of England might have become a positive hotbed of charity and humility.” It felt like Screwtape had been foiled this time.

    Lily, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Caregiver fatigue is very real and has nothing to do with character–Jesus himself took breaks from his public ministry to refresh himself. Sometimes listening by the Spirit at church means knowing something doesn’t apply to you right now and you can tune it out. I hope you have a good friend you can talk about this with, and there’s no shame in getting help from a mental health professional.

    At the start of Jacob’s famous rebuke of the Nephite men in Jacob 2, he first apologizes to those who “have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.” And if that’s what they expected, then he must have been in the habit of giving more healing sermons than rebukes. I hope somewhere in all the “love your neighbor” someone is taking the time to say “God loves you.”

  5. rogerdhansen

    President Packer stated that a testimony should contain 5 things with no storytelling. In fact, Deseret book sold a glove for the Primary kids to remind them of the 5 elements. Sort of the ultimate in Mormon kitsch.

    The most memorable F&T meeting I attended involved a member grieving over the loss of a grandchild. He filled about 15 minutes. But it didn’t matter. The members felt they were assisting with the grieving process.

    Storytelling and short doctrinal talks would be interesting. Maybe poetry and musical numbers. As long as the presenter stayed away from politics and the mysteries. A 2-1/2 time limit might be nice. That could be waved in special circumstances.

    I don’t think the current format for F&T meeting works.

  6. Roger, why are you posting here a criticism of F&T meeting? I don’t think the OP called for that. You cited Elder Packer, but you don’t tell us what YOU got out of a F&T meeting. Nor do you tell us why you are focusing on what others did wrong, instead of how YOU reacted.

    Please, complaints about how the meetings work appear in MANY different places. I think everyone has heard them. Instead, we’re asking here about how to take what does happen and get something out of it. It is every bit as much our responsibility to mold what happens into something we benefit from, as it is for the speaker/testifier to provide good material.

    Elder Packer’s own example suggests this. He talked about speakers who only bring a thimble full of good material AND about audiences that used umbrellas to avoid getting wet. You are complaining about the speaker only bringing a thimble full, and ignoring the question of your umbrella.

  7. rogerdhansen

    Kent, you are right, I shouldn’t have taken the shot at Elder Packer. He and I had different views of the world, and that’s fine.

    As an aside, a while back I attended a F&T meeting in Africa. Some nonmember friends wanted to attend with me. I was a little concerned that this would be their first introduction to Mormonism. But I needn’t have worried, they seemed to enjoy the meeting.

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