So I found Brittany Romanello’s presentation to Dialogue on their series on DC 132 (15:30) interesting in the context of lots of internet talk about polygamy in anticipation for a discussion of DC 132 coming up tomorrow. Romanello talked about getting lessons on polygamy and said that in wards she’s been in as a teenager, the adult female teachers were so uncomfortable that they would bring in men to teach it: bishopric members or husbands. Romanello said the men would teach while the women sat silent which suggests a lot of things, she notes.
I’ve never been in that specific situation, but listening to that story reminded me of a time teaching youth Sunday school very many years ago (2001 I think). I was getting my master’s in history in central California and beginning to learn more about the academic study of Mormonism and the controversies that came with it. I was working on early Mormonism in the Philadelphia area, but was also beginning to try to figure out how to tackle the hard stuff.
I wasn’t terribly troubled by polygamy (sorry for my male cluelessness!) but ran smack dab into a wall as I was called to teach this youth class of 14-year olds.
I think the topic that year was the DC, but as you know polygamy wasn’t central to the curriculum. It came up because I’d had a youth Sunday school teacher who would begin his lessons by opening up for any questions we had, and when I did the same thing, the girls brought up polygamy: “I head Jospeh Smith had a bunch of wives,” “what’s going to happen in the afterlife?” Standard stuff.
I knew a little about it and tried to draw on what I’d heard to that point. “Polygamy is really confusing as a historical topic” as my BYU prof had used for an explanation. But the questions went on and on, week after week. I drew on what I’d heard my seminary teacher say (yes, I know that was a bad idea, sorry!) “Elder McConkie said that there will be polygamy in heaven because women are more righteous than men.” Yes, I know this idea was ripped apart for decades on the Bloggernacle, but this was before the Bloggernacle! I was doing my best!
It kept coming up. I remember one girl raising her hand weeks later and saying, “Yep, I’m bringing polygamy up again!” At this point, I was waiving the white flag and had wanted to try a way to have them ask someone else. I finally said, “I don’t know. Ask your parents!”
That wasn’t the end of it. A few weeks later the girl said, “I asked my parents and they had completely different answers!”
I can’t remember if it was that week or a later one, but eventually I was totally defeated. I had NO answers and the class found that completely unsatisfactory. In a moment of feeling like I truly knew nothing, I think I said in something of a cowed mumble, “We just don’t know.” One of the less feisty girls even said at that point, “Because women are more righteous than men.” Oops, shouldn’t have said that! Sorry!
I said, “That was one theory. We don’t know.” I think they did eventually stop grilling me because I literally had nothing to say.
Anyway, what have been your experiences of learning/talking about polygamy in church settings? I’d ask if there’s a “right” way to do it, but I’m guessing such opinions on that topic will vary as much as opinions over polygamy.
I did do a lot of study and prayer on the topic after that year and shared thoughts at the Juvenile Instructor, which connected to my dissertation. I came to many similar ideas as Romanello who I linked to above.
https://juvenileinstructor.org/thoughts-on-polyandry/
https://juvenileinstructor.org/teaching-polygamy-at-byu/
https://juvenileinstructor.org/plato-gender-and-eternal-marriage/
Leave a Reply