Do you forsake Mormon celebrities?

Yea, I forsake.

Do you forsake vicarious satisfaction in their professional success?

Yea, I forsake.

Do you forsake their works and fandom that you served in former times?

Yea, I forsake.

* * *

While the Church tends not to trumpet its famous members – no Osmond special musical numbers in General Conference, no Steve Young cover issue of the Ensign – other church members more than make up for it. Para-ecclesiastic media (outlets like Meridian Magazine or this fine blog) have always shone a spotlight on prominent athletes, academics, actors, artists, authors and politicians who are also church members. And it’s understandable: We like to see people like us succeed, we want to see evidence that our faith contributes to success in society, we want to point to positive things church members have accomplished, and we like to feel seen and understood in the arts and media.

I don’t think I can do it anymore.

* * *

I wasn’t there for the start of your career; few people were. But I noticed your first commercial success, and I’ve been following your career ever since and contributing to your success as much as one consumer can. Of course your work could stand on its own, but I hopped on the train because at last I felt like I had found someone who shared my values and valued my experience.

As your career blossomed, other fans found their way to your work, and your artistry was capacious enough to invite them in. Representation is powerful, and I could see their authentic joy when they too found themselves reflected in your work.

But the fans who first helped launch your career come with a cost on the national market, don’t they? Our ways can seem quaint, at times provincial, even narrow-minded or offensive. Or to put it another way, embarrassing.

You haven’t directly stated that you’re embarrassed of us – yet – but I keep noticing what look like nods and gestures in that direction that give me an unsettled feeling. Sometimes a sinking feeling. Occasionally a nasty feeling. At times, you seem to be apologizing for, trying to un-create, those early works that I enjoyed so much.

I don’t know for sure. We’re still in the realm of interpreting subtle hints and artistic themes. I can’t be certain where you’re heading.

But we’ve seen other Mormon celebrities take that route. Their spiritual journey is taking them down a new path, they say. Eventually they say they no longer identify as Mormons (although their marketing to LDS audiences seems to persist even after their membership records have vanished).

It you’re thinking of following them down that road, there are some things you should know. The first is that it’s not necessary. The religious test for Mormon fandom is pretty lenient. All you have to do is say something about trying to be a good church member even if you’re not very good at it, or trying to live as much as you understand. We can work with that.

The second thing to know is that it’s not going to work. Whatever commercial success or recognition from your relevant National Academy you’ve been denied, parting ways with your earliest fans isn’t going to get it for you. Did Taylor Swift get where she is today by running away from her middle school-aged fans? No, she did not. It will be tempting to present yourself as a victim of oppression, but if it comes to that point, I hope you’ll at least have the decency to say a few nice things about your LDS upbringing.

Finally, whatever spin you put on it, it’s a path I can’t follow. I don’t think I can even start down the road with anyone else anymore.

And why should I? Representation is powerful, and it’s especially powerful to be told that representing me is no longer part of your artistic program, or that my values are a drag on your aspirations for a breakout hit. By this point, we’ve been burned enough times that I have to wonder if it’s worth the emotional investment in the next up and coming Mormon academic, artist, athlete, actor, author or politician.

I understand your desire for a professional future beyond the Provo-Rexburg-FSY speaking circuit. But the final destination of a journey forces a re-evaluation of its earliest steps. What you choose next will determine if we were supporting a fellow member of a community based on shared values, or if we were just suckers getting set up for another rug-pull.