“Someday my prince will come, / in the Millennium, / and he will say to me, / ‘Will you be number three? / I will be true to you, / and you, and you, and you…’”
So went a tongue-in-cheek song my mom heard sung by young women at BYU when she attended college there. While intended to poke fun at the polygamous past of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the song does reflect an ongoing belief that plural marriages will be a common thing among Latter-day Saints in the afterlife and possibly in the future. My intent in this essay is to challenge the assumption that plural marriage is an essential or even common feature of exaltation. Note that this means my intention is not to challenge the past practice of plural marriage, nor the possibility that it is practiced in and the afterlife by faithful Latter-day Saints with multiple marriage sealings—that goes beyond the limited scope of intention. I am only challenging the idea that plural marriage is necessary for exaltation or the that it is the standard experience in the celestial kingdom.
The official position of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints supports this idea. As stated in a Gospel Topics essay about plural marriage,
Marriage between one man and one woman is God’s standard for marriage, unless He declares otherwise, which He did through His prophet, Joseph Smith. The Manifesto marked the beginning of the return to monogamy, which is the standard of the Church today.[1]
Monogamy is the standard of the Church today. And, as Gordon B. Hinckley added,
I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church. An article of our faith is binding upon us. It states, ‘We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law’ (Articles of Faith 1:12)[2]
On another occasion, President Hinckley stated that “I condemn it [polygamy], yes, as a practice, because I think it is not doctrinal.”[3] Kate Holbrook (a church historian) spoke at a face to face event at the time Saints, vol.1 was released, stating, “Our church leaders have taught us that monogamy is the rule and plural marriage is the exception. And our Church leaders have taught us that plural marriage is not necessary for exaltation or for eternal glory.” Elder Quentin L. Cook backed up her comments by stating that “In the senior councils of the Church, there’s a feeling that polygamy as it was practiced has served its purpose, and we should honor those saints. But that purpose has been accomplished and that, that it isn’t necessary.”[4] Taken together, these witnesses indicate that monogamy is the standard of the Church today. And while the sealing practices of the temple leave an option open for plural marriage in the afterlife for current Latter-day Saints, the fact that monogamous marriages are the standard in this life would indicate that they are going to be the standard in the life to come as well.
One core concept that is useful in understanding why 19th century Latter-day Saints treated plural marriage as a commandment necessary for exaltation while Latter-day Saints today do not is that God can set things as commandments for limited periods of time. This concept is perhaps most clearly stated in the 1842 “Happiness Letter” that has been attributed to Joseph Smith:
Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God. … That which is wrong under one circumstance, may be, and often is, right under another. God said thou shalt not kill,—at another time he said thou shalt utterly destroy. This is the principle on which the government of heaven is conducted—by revelation adapted to the circumstances in which the children of the kingdom are placed.[5]
While the authorship of the letter is contested, there is enough commonality with other documents and teachings of Joseph Smith recorded or echoed by his inner circle during the Nauvoo era to indicate that it reflects what Joseph Smith was teaching.[6]
In the letter cited above, it states that “This is the principle on which the government of heaven is conducted—revelation adapted to the circumstances in which the children of the kingdom are placed.” This is backed up by other teachings of Joseph Smith. For example, he taught in 1835 that “We are differently situated from any other people that ever existed upon this earth: Consequently those former revelations cannot be suited to our condition, because they were given to other people who were before us.”[7] And he wrote to his uncle in 1833 to tell him that “You will admit that the word spoken to Noah was not sufficient for Abraham, or it was not required of <?him?> to leave the land of his nativity, and seek an inheritance in a strange country upon the word spoken to Noah, but, for himself he obtained promises from the hand of the Lord, and walked in that perfection that he was called the friend of God.”[8] Circumstances change and guidance from the Lord can change with them.
The second part of the expectation here is that we follow whatever guidance and commandments are currently in place. Joseph Smith stated that “To get salvation, we must not only do somethings, but every thing which God has commanded,”[9] echoing the statement that “this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.” In his record of The Vision (Section 76), we read the expectations for exaltation:
This is the testimony of the gospel of Christ concerning them who shall come forth in the resurrection of the just—they are they who received the testimony of Jesus, and believed on his name and were baptized after the manner of his burial, being buried in the water in his name, and this according to the commandment which he has given—that by keeping the commandments they might be washed and cleansed from all their sins, and receive the Holy Spirit by the laying on of the hands of him who is ordained and sealed unto this power; and who overcome by faith, and are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true. …
These are they who are just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood. These are they whose bodies are celestial, whose glory is that of the sun, even the glory of God, the highest of all, whose glory the sun of the firmament is written of as being typical.
D&C 76:50–53, 69–70
Plural marriage is not listed as a requirement for exaltation here. Instead, the expectation is having a testimony of Jesus Christ, being baptized, and keeping the commandments to prepare oneself to receive the Holy Spirit. Circumstances change and guidance from the Lord can change with them, but we are expected by God to follow His current guidance to receive exaltation.
One can see how this applies to plural marriage as it is discussed throughout the scriptures. Most famously, the Book of Mormon prophet Jacob taught monogamy was the expectation for righteous people, with one exception:
This people begin to wax in iniquity; they understand not the scriptures, for they seek to excuse themselves in committing whoredoms, because of the things which were written concerning David, and Solomon his son. Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord. … Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old. Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none …
For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.
Jacob 2: 23–24, 26–27, 30.
Elder Orson Pratt elaborated on this:
Do you believe that the Book of Mormon is a divine revelation? We do. Does that book teach the doctrine of plurality of wives? It does not. Does the Lord in that book forbid the plurality doctrine? He forbid the ancient Nephites to have any more than one wife. … The Lord, Himself, informs them … that if He would have them practice differently from what He had previously taught them, it must be by his command. It reads as follows: “For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise, they shall hearken unto these things.” Thus we see, that a man among the Nephites, by the law of God, had no right to take more than one wife, unless the Lord should command for the purpose of raising up seed unto Himself. Without such a command, they were strictly limited to the one wife doctrine: “otherwise” saith the Lord, “they shall hearken unto these things;” that is, without an express command, they should hearken to the law, limiting them to one wife.
So it is in this church of Latter Day Saints, every man is strictly limited to one wife, unless the Lord, through the President and Prophet of the Church, gives a revelation permitting him to take more. Without such a revelation it would be sinful, according to the Book of Mormon, which this church are required to obey.[10]
The recorded writings of these two prophets indicate that in most circumstances, God’s commandment is monogamy, but there are certain, limited, circumstances in which God commands the practice of plural marriage.
Likewise, we see different expectations for church leadership in regards to plural marriage. The first epistle to Timothy outlines an expectation that church leaders are monogamous:
The saying is sure: whoever aspires to the office of bishop desires a noble task. Now a bishop must be above reproach, married only once …
Let deacons be married only once, and let them manage their children and their households well; for those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and great boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 3:1–5, 12–13
The epistle of Titus addresses the same issue:
I left you behind in Crete for this reason, so that you should put in order what remained to be done and should appoint elders in every town, as I directed you: someone who is blameless, married only once, whose children are believers, not accused of debauchery and not rebellious.
Titus 1:5–6.
In both of these early Christian documents that are accepted as a standard of belief and practice in the Church, the expectation is outlined that elders, deacons, and bishops are “married only once.”
This is different from the expectations under Brigham Young and John Taylor, when leaders in the Church’s priesthood hierarchy were pressured to practice plural marriage. As one revelation recorded by John Taylor put it: “You may appoint Seymour B. Young to fill up the vacancy in the presiding quorum of Seventies, if he will conform to My law; for it is not meet that men who will not abide My law shall preside over My Priesthood.”[11] The law in question was plural marriage. The contradiction of expectations for those who “preside over My Priesthood” between the early Christian church and John Taylor’s administration feels like less of a contradiction when approached with the belief that in most periods of history (including early Christianity), monogamy is the rule and times like the 19th century were exceptions when plural marriage was the expectation set by the Lord in some circumstances.
Given that monogamy is the rule today, the statement that church leaders must “conform to My law” would have the opposite meaning when it comes to marriage status that it did in the 1880s. The same could be said about what it means to be “keeping the commandments,” as required for exaltation according to Section 76. Today, monogamous marriage is the commandment that must be kept to receive exaltation rather than plural marriage.
Section 131 and Section 132 do complicate the doctrinal foundations of this discussion, however, there is insufficient room to discuss those here. Thus, part 2 will focus on understanding how these are interpreted by Church leaders today.
[1] “The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage”, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/the-manifesto-and-the-end-of-plural-marriage?lang=eng. Accessed August 28, 2024.
[2] Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, October 1998.
[3] Larry King Live on September 8, 1998.
[4] Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults: A Face to Face Event with Elder Quentin L. Cook 9 September 2018 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/face-to-face/cook?lang=eng.
[5] Appendix: Letter to Nancy Rigdon, circa Mid-April 1842, p. 2, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed August 28, 2024, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/appendix-letter-to-nancy-rigdon-circa-mid-april-1842/1.
[6] There is some good discussion of this in Secret Covenants: New Insights on Early Mormon Polygamy, ed. Cheryl L. Bruno (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2024).
[7] Minutes and Discourse, 21 April 1834, p. 43, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed August 22, 2024, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/minutes-and-discourse-21-april-1834/1.
[8] Letter to Silas Smith, 26 September 1833, p. 3, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed August 22, 2024, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/letter-to-silas-smith-26-september-1833/2.
[9] Joseph Smith discourse February 21, 1844, History Draft [1 January–21 June 1844], p. 13, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed November 14, 2024, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/history-draft-1-january-21-june-1844/27.
[10] Orson Pratt, “Celestial Marriage,” The Seer 1, no. 2 (February 1853), 31-32, https://archive.org/details/seereditedbyorso01unse/page/30/mode/2up.
[11] Messages of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1833-1964, ed. James R. Clark (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965), 2:348.
Polygamy as practiced by the early church members is untenable at scale. If men and women exist in roughly equal numbers, and if men and women attain exaltation in similar numbers, then by definition plural marriage would exude without justification 50% or more of our worthy men.
We see that ill effect in practice with the FLDS. Polygamy is bad for women. It is worse for men. That is why I believe polygamy was never a commandment from God. As with the 116 pages, Joseph kept asking until he got the answer he wanted.
Those are some ideas similar to what I’m thinking for Part 3, though I disagree with your statement that polygamy is worse for men than women.