{"id":9517,"date":"2009-09-03T14:02:14","date_gmt":"2009-09-03T19:02:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/?p=9517"},"modified":"2009-09-03T15:03:49","modified_gmt":"2009-09-03T20:03:49","slug":"pray-crazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/2009\/09\/pray-crazy\/","title":{"rendered":"Pray Crazy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t ask me to “bless the refreshments” at a ward (or any other) function. Just don’t. Chalk it up to one of the Mormon sillinesses I refuse to perpetuate.<\/p>\n

I’ll be happy to thank<\/strong> the Lord that we have the luxury of indulging on non-essential fat- and sugar-laden treats, but you’re just not going to hear me ask God for the brownie parfaits to make us healthy and strong. (If that worked as some kind of Jenny Craig replacement, I’d have known long ago.)<\/p>\n

As John Gwynn commented in the “Nourish and Strengthen” thread<\/a>, “I have wondered exactly what we expect the Lord to do with our request.”<\/p>\n

If, however, you want something reasonable, I’m happy to oblige. How about one of these:<\/p>\n

Please bless us to burn enough calories rolling the tables under the stage that the sweet rolls do not to make us fat(ter).<\/em><\/p>\n

Please bless us not to hurt Sister Anderson’s feelings by retching the carpet padding jello where she can see us.<\/em><\/p>\n

Add your own!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t ask me to “bless the refreshments” at a ward (or any other) function. Just don’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":116,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/116"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9517"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9521,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517\/revisions\/9521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}