My friend was recently invited to an LDS bridal shower, and the invitation came complete with the bride\u2019s personal measurements and sizing. Call me old-fashioned, prudish, and conservative, but I found that troubling.<\/p>\n
While some women would probably herald this young bride\u2019s embracing of her body, the feminist in me wants to remind her that she has a great mind, a kind heart, and many talents. I would tell her: \u201cBe glad you\u2019re a woman. Celebrate your female body. Just don\u2019t forget the rest of who you are.\u201d The feminist in me also can\u2019t help wondering if a man would ever include his measurements. I\u2019m frustrated with our culture\u2019s fixation on an almost-impossible, ultra-slim, well-endowed female body, and I\u2019m frustrated that girls soak up that fixation.<\/p>\n
The mother in me wants this bride to know that anyone with a lick of sense will love her whether or not she remains an XS all her days. I\u2019m proud of her for working and maintaining a trim figure, but it\u2019s just not the most important thing. I believe that Heavenly Father sees beauty in all stages and phases of a woman\u2019s life, as well as in all the sizes that his daughters may be. The mother in me also hopes that this bride didn\u2019t include her sizing to brag or make others feel jealous, since that wouldn\u2019t be very nice.<\/p>\n
The Miss Manners in me thinks it\u2019s tacky to include such information. If someone doesn\u2019t know you well enough to know your bra size already, then he or she has no business buying you lingerie.<\/p>\n
The thirty-seven-year-old in me is shocked. Apparently I\u2019m old and out of touch and on the verge of falling into a generation gap. I\u2019m a short step away from an \u201cin my day\u201d sentence that will date me forever.<\/p>\n
The older sister in me feels like offering two bits of advice on sex. I would tell the bride a giggle-inducing bit of advice I heard at a different bridal shower: newlyweds should fight naked. From that, I learned that sex is an important part of marriage; it can both create and help resolve tensions. Sex is a big deal, so I\u2019m glad she\u2019s excited. But I also remember standing by the kitchen counter when my mom decided I was old enough to learn why some family friends were divorcing. She stopped her dinner preparations and started crying as she thought about her friend facing life with five children and no husband. She told me, \u201cSex is enjoyable. It\u2019s fun. But it is never, never worth losing an eternal marriage, an eternal family. Nothing is worth that.\u201d I hope that this bride\u2019s focus on the sexual part of marriage is balanced with other vital aspects of a covenant relationship.<\/p>\n
The friend in me isn\u2019t too troubled. If I know the bride well enough to buy her underwear, then I\u2019ll go ahead and run down to Victoria\u2019s Secret. If I\u2019m a more casual friend, I\u2019ll bring a blender\u2014despite her blatant hints in another direction.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not there yet, but the mother-in-law (to be) in me has no idea what to do. I only met my mother-in-law once before my own bridal shower, and I have a hard time imagining that I would ever want to buy lingerie for a young woman that I barely know\u2014however much my son loves her. Maybe if the bride has been a longtime friend or girlfriend, I\u2019ll feel differently. I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
I am not a man, so perhaps you of the male persuasion can fill in your own comments. How would you feel if this not-so-blushing bride were your wife-to-be, daughter or friend?<\/p>\n
All in all, I am\u2014as I said\u2014troubled. Do I think including your bra size in a bridal shower invitation is immoral? No. Scandalous? Not really. Edgy? Out of my comfort zone? In bad taste? Definitely. I sure hope my daughters and future daughters-in-law choose not to.<\/p>\n
——P.S.—- A few friends who have proofread this blog for me said it is missing one thing: the bride\u2019s actual measurements. They say I should let my audience feel the same squeamish shock that I felt when I saw it printed in black and white. Sorry, I\u2019m sure I\u2019m losing some impact, but I just can’t spread it further. I already have too much information about this bride\u2014more than I ever wanted to know\u2014as do dozens of others. I\u2019ll leave it there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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