Stake visitors amble through the hallways during Sunday School time of ward conference in an urban Chicago ward. Suddenly, bellowing from the young women\u2019s classroom, comes the teacher\u2019s mighty voice: \u201cChastity means NO SEX, NO SEX, NO SEX!\u201d<\/p>\n
Just how do we communicate sexual standards in understandable, meaningful, practical ways?
\n
\nThe teacher in question knew her girls. The majority of her new convert teenagers (at least one already a mother) knew from personal experience what sex was. But chastity? It sounded like just another fancy word like \u201cvirtue\u201d or \u201cexaltation.\u201d Straight talk was the only way to get the point across clearly. Of course there\u2019s more depth and power to the principle of chastity than \u201cno sex,\u201d but at a certain level, basics are required.<\/p>\n
Imagine the poor missionaries doing pre-baptism interviews with sisters who have no idea what the \u201claw of chastity\u201d means in practical terms. Are these young men, who may not be completely clear on the concept themselves, be glossing over an important topic to avoid everyone’s embarrassment? <\/p>\n
Most stakes have some kind of (often dreaded) Standards Nights. In one neighboring stake, the no-nonsense young stake president gets quite explicit. Definite lines are drawn without equivocation, not too unlike butcher charts. The youth of the stake now know how long it takes for a teenage guy to get \u201cturned on\u201d (I believe he said 3 seconds), how girls in provocative clothing put the guys under a lot of stress, how getting horizontal is asking for trouble, how repentance is available but hard, hard, hard.<\/p>\n
I appreciate that he\u2019s given the kids some kind of parameters (a.k.a. \u201cstandards\u201d) even if I don\u2019t agree with where he\u2019s drawn all his boundaries. I don\u2019t like having our girls made to feel like watch dogs for the guys, for one thing. Keeping things zipped and keeping hands off privates was about as specific as I was advised way back when. I have heard tell of stake presidents who expect their dating teens and young adults not to kiss until over the altar. I don\u2019t see how this squares with \u201cbridling one\u2019s passions.\u201d Sounds more like squelching them to me. My public health nurse friend insists that exchanging saliva is not a good thing at any age. Are we all doomed? <\/p>\n
The advice given to 12-year-olds is not necessarily the same counsel appropriate for college students or older singles. (Unless you\u2019re really buying into the \u201cdon\u2019t kiss until over the altar\u201d policy.) \u201cI wish somebody would spell things out specifically,\u201d one robust 21-year-old complained. \u201cIt\u2019s all so euphemistic.\u201d If he read that \u201cnecking\u201d was considered beyond the limits by some revered leaders, would he wish he hadn\u2019t asked?<\/p>\n
Is this one area where \u201cteaching them correct principles and let them govern themselves\u201d needs more clarification? Or are we just all hopelessly uptight?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Stake visitors amble through the hallways during Sunday School time of ward conference in an urban Chicago ward. Suddenly, bellowing from the young women\u2019s classroom, comes the teacher\u2019s mighty voice: \u201cChastity means NO SEX, NO SEX, NO SEX!\u201d Just how do we communicate sexual standards in understandable, meaningful, practical ways?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10381,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-politics"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10381"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6736,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions\/6736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}