{"id":4275,"date":"2007-12-14T13:03:55","date_gmt":"2007-12-14T17:03:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/?p=4275"},"modified":"2007-12-14T15:04:52","modified_gmt":"2007-12-14T19:04:52","slug":"what-the-smith-boys-said-this-year-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/2007\/12\/what-the-smith-boys-said-this-year-4\/","title":{"rendered":"What the Smith Boys Said This Year"},"content":{"rendered":"

This year, Simon turned nine, Nathan turned six, and Truman turned three. For previous installments, see here<\/a>, here<\/a>, and here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

12.8.6
\nNathan, handing Julie a 3 x 5 note card: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, please write everything you know on this piece of paper.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.10.6
\nSunday school teacher: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Please stand up if you like green.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I like nontranslucent green only.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.17.6
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When Jesus comes, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to quit my superhero job because all the evil will either die, explode, or disintegrate.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.19.6
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153OK, Truman, time for your lobotomy.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.22.6
\nSanta: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What do you want for Christmas?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A carbonite maker.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nSanta: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Who are you going to put in carbonite?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mass murderers.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.22.6
\nRadio: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153. . . they used to laugh and call him names!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like Tycho!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tycho Brahe?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes! Because of his nose!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

12.30.6
\nSimon and Nathan burst into tears when we announce that we plan on moving to a new house. Careful questioning reveals that they are both devastated at the thought of leaving their mud pit in the backyard.<\/p>\n

1.7.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, do you get to pick who your relatives are before you come to earth?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nMom: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a very interesting question. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think you get to pick because I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have picked Simon.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

1.10.7
\nJulie got into the habit of listening to Simon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s piano lessons from another room without watching him. Today she peeked in on him to find him lying down on the piano bench and playing with his eyes shut. He still sounded pretty good.
\n1.20.7
\nNathan, eating pizza: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is better than hardtack.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

1.26.7
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Would you like some of that egg thing we had for dinner last night\u00e2\u20ac\u201dyou know, with the crust and the ham?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You mean the quiche?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

2.17.7
\nSimon reading a logo: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcACE is a helpful place\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 . . . which means that they are a desperate company trying to make money.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.3.7
\nJulie is smooshed up against the very edge of the (king-sized) bed. The only other occupant in the bed, Truman, says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Little room, please!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.4.7
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You get to go to nursery today!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No nursery! IKEA!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.4.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Church is boring. I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t learn anything there because my head is full of naughtiness.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.7.7
\nNathan, right before kicking the nurse who was giving him a shot: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You ugly cretin!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.7.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thanks for the frosting, Mom. It was so good when I put the chocolate chips on it that I almost cried.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.10.7
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nathan, you sure are cute!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Me cute too!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.20.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really, really good, can I have an A bomb for Christmas?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

3.25.7
\nNathan demonstrated the mating dance that he is going to do when he meets the woman he wants to marry.<\/p>\n

3.27.7
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In the new house, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have your own room.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Own room, own keys, own car, drive Cici\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n4.4.7
\nTruman is trying to screw in a real screw with a toy screwdriver: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Not working. Getting fwustwated.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

4.17.7
\nNathan announces that he plans of having a tribe of attack bunnies to protect his bedroom.<\/p>\n

4.17.7
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, how do ugly things like bugs and squid reproduce? Who would be attracted to them?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

4.19.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes! Another loose tooth! Now I get to be the center of attention!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

5.24.7
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Truman, get down. It is very dangerous to climb on that ledge.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153My superpowers will help me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

6.3.7
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nathan, is that your Sunday School teacher?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, it is my evil nemesis.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

6.9.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If there is a fire, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll use a rope to climb out of my window, walk down _____ Road, walk down ______ Road, make a u-turn at Interstate 35 and meet you at Kaleidoscope Toy Store!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

6.27.7
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Daddy, I \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcfraid.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What are you afraid of?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Monsters.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Where are the monsters?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In the closet.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Should we get them?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah! I get my sword!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\n(sounds of rummaging in the next room)
\nTruman, reappearing with green sword: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I ready.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman and Derrick count to three and then open the closet.
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Take THAT, stupid bad guys!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman swipes at the shelves in his closet a couple of times.
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did we get them?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.5.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, if you actually value what is in this house, you have to buy me a gun.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.9.7
\nNathan plans to buy fish and flush them down the toilet to set them free \u00e2\u20ac\u0153because I think they have brains and care about their families.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.18.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dad, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve led a rugged life.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.20.7
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Huh. I missed two phone calls.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Did you have your phone set to evaporate?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.20.7
\nTruman pretends to be the Cat in the Hat by standing on a stool with a stack of oatmeal packets on his head and then falling flat on the floor.<\/p>\n

7.20.7
\nJulie, trying really hard, but unsuccessfully, to understand what Truman is saying: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Are you talking about Arthur?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m talking about!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

7.27.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been eating so much that I bet I weigh 1000 libs!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d [libs=lbs.]<\/p>\n

8.14.7
\nJulie announces that it is time to clean the house.
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Aw, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to mess up all of our hard work for nothing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

8.15.7
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Orzo. Can you say orzo?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say orzo.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

8.22.7
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When my eyes fall out at Wal-Mart, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll miss them, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s OK because the doctor can get me new ones.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

8.24.7
\nTruman, eyeing his oatmeal: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153My porridge is too hot so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to go for a walk.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.19.7
\nJulie wipes milk and cereal off of Truman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chin. Truman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey! Give me my beard back!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.19.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, have you ever had the experience of growing a mustache?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.21.7
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As long as I have a tongue, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need a fork!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.23.7
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re my favorite mommy!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.23.7
\nJulie snuggles up to Nathan and talks baby talk to him.
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I am not amused.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.24.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you think it would be OK to make a cartoon like Tom and Jerry but with God and Satan?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

9.25.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, you need to take $4 out of my allowance and put it in Simon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I lost a bet.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Regarding what exactly?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Whether we have any tartar sauce in the house.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

10.7.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, would it be OK if Simon and I exploded water balloons?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153In the tub, I guess.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Good, because we were.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

10.10.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you think we should act like a normal family?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

10.10.7
\nA note that Simon left:
\nDear Dad,
\n We are playing innocently in Nathan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s room.<\/p>\n

10.19.7
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Truman, time to come inside. But you can play outside tomorrow.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nTruman: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But it is tomorrow!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.9.7
\nSimon to Truman as Truman is about to execute a dangerous maneuver on the playground: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry, Truman, if you break your arm you can sue the playground!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.9.7
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, why does the bad for you stuff always taste so good?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.15.7
\nNathan is crying.
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Are you OK?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Of course I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not OK!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.26.7
\nTruman, wearing a red cape, announces his plan to jump off of his changing table. Derrick tells him not to. Truman assures Derrick that his cape will help him fly. Derrick suggests that this might not in fact be the case. Derrick turns around to get a diaper and . . . THUD. Truman, after being comforted and having his bloody lip tended to, announces, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think I need a bigger cape.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.26.7
\nJulie\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s friend Laura was watching the boys. Truman choked a little on his oatmeal. He then looked expectantly at Laura. He waited. And then said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You are supposed to ask if I am OK.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

11.27.7
\nNathan, holding a chunk of Truman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hair: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dad, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to use this piece of Truman\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hair to do voodoo on him.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This year, Simon turned nine, Nathan turned six, and Truman turned three. For previous installments, see here, here, and here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4275"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4275\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}