Throughout my time studying President Nelson\u2019s conference addresses, I observed that one topic that he came back to over and over is families.\u00a0 Whether it be decrying the fragmentation of families, encouraging men to pay more attention to their wives, or offering encouragement to women who are mothers, Russell M. Nelson has had a lot to say about families over the years.<\/p>\n
In discussing this topic, this puts us here in the overall scheme of thing:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The Family<\/strong><\/p>\n Two of the most frequently repeated statements from Russell M. Nelson are focused on families.\u00a0 The first is: \u201cThe home is the great laboratory of love. There the raw chemicals of selfishness and greed are melded in the crucible of cooperation to yield compassionate concern and love one for another.\u201d[1]<\/a>\u00a0 He sees families as an important training ground for individuals to learn to love, echoing the statement attributed to the Protestant reformer Martin Luther that \u201cmarriage is the school of love.\u201d[2]<\/a> \u00a0The second is that: \u201cWhile salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter,\u201d[3]<\/a> with temple covenants being essential to exaltation.\u00a0 Together, these statements about families being essential to exaltation display a frequent focus in his talks and may be remembered as short Nelson-isms in the years to come.<\/p>\n President Nelson has repeatedly expressed the need for retention in future generations, building multi-generational families in the Church.\u00a0 In one talk, he stated that: \u201cAttacks against the Church, its doctrine, and our way of life are going to increase. Because of this, we need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Christ and who will use that understanding to teach and help raise a sin-resistant generation.\u201d[4]<\/a>\u00a0 In an earlier talk, he expressed that: \u201cMy heart aches when I learn of those who turn from the faith of their pioneer predecessors.\u201d[5]<\/a>\u00a0 Hence, he has expressed that: \u201cParents have a divine duty to teach their children to love the Lord.\u00a0Children have an equal obligation to \u2018obey [their] parents in the Lord.\u2019\u201d[6]<\/a> His ultimate hope is that our home will \u201cbecome a true sanctuary of faith, where the Spirit of the Lord may dwell,\u201d[7]<\/a> and serve as \u201cthe first line of defense\u201d for eternal families.[8]<\/a><\/p>\n In many of his talks, President Nelson has also expressed concerns about what he has called \u201cthe curse of family fragmentation.\u201d[9]<\/a>\u00a0 He decries sexual sins and other social trends that he sees as contributing to this fragmentation: \u201cThe seditious evils of pornography, abortion, and addiction to harmful substances serve as termites to erode the undergirding strength of a happy home and a faithful family. We cannot yield to any iniquity without putting our families at risk.\u201d[10]<\/a>\u00a0 This statement summarizes several different discussions that occur in the texts of his talks, along with a general concern about sexual immorality.<\/p>\n Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n President Nelson has frequently discussed how to keep a marriage happy and healthy in his conference talks.\u00a0 His belief is that: \u201cAn ideal marriage is a true partnership between two imperfect people, each striving to complement the other, to keep the commandments, and to do the will of the Lord.\u201d[11]<\/a>\u00a0 He emphasizes that: \u201cMarriages would be happier if nurtured more carefully,\u201d[12]<\/a> and has expressed concern that too often, \u201cless important appointments are often given priority, leaving only leftover moments for listening to precious partners.\u201d[13]<\/a>\u00a0 His encouragement is to focus on the marriage relationship, stating that: \u201cAn enduring marriage results when both husband and wife regard their union as one of the two most important commitments they will ever make.\u201d[14]<\/a>\u00a0 Prioritizing marriages and focusing on time and communication within that relationship is a frequently-repeated theme in his general conference talks.<\/p>\n Much of this emphasis on focusing on marriages is geared towards men.\u00a0 For example, on one occasion, he expressed concern about a man he saw on an airplane whose wife \u201c<\/em>would nestle close to him and rest her head upon his shoulder, seeking his companionship\u201d while the man \u201cwas focused solely upon an electronic game player\u201d for the entire journey.[15]<\/a>\u00a0 Even for Church leaders, he noted that when he asked them \u201cabout the priorities of their various responsibilities \u2026 too few remember their responsibilities at home.\u201d\u00a0 In contrast, his belief is that: \u201cYour foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage\u2014to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife.\u201d[16]<\/a>\u00a0 In practical terms, he has encouraged men to \u201chelp with the dishes, care for a crying baby, and change a diaper. And perhaps some Sunday you could get the children ready for Church, and your wife could sit in the car and honk.\u201d[17]<\/a>\u00a0 As a young married man, this is some of President Nelson\u2019s teachings that were most potent and inspirational to me.<\/p>\n Women and Motherhood<\/strong><\/p>\n Russell M. Nelson has spoken frequently to women, most often expressing gratitude and praise for their role as mothers or their influence as teachers of the gospel.\u00a0 For example, in one talk he noted that: \u201cLoving parent. What a noble title! There are no greater roles in life for a man than those of husband and father. Likewise, there are no greater roles for a woman than those of wife and mother.\u201d[18]<\/a> \u00a0In another talk, he noted that: \u201cNo one can do what a righteous woman can do. No one can duplicate the influence of a mother.\u201d\u00a0 He even went on to say that: \u201cThrough the years, whenever I have been asked why I\u00a0chose<\/em>\u00a0to become a medical doctor, my answer has always been the same: \u2018Because I could not\u00a0choose<\/em>\u00a0to be a mother.\u2019\u201d[19]<\/a>\u00a0 He has encouraged boys and men to honor the women in their lives, telling young men to \u201clearn now to show respect and gratitude\u201d to women,[20]<\/a> and that \u201cthe best thing that a father can do for his children is to \u2018love their mother.\u2019\u201d[21]<\/a>\u00a0 Praise for women and motherhood is a frequent focus for President Nelson.<\/p>\n Yet, at times the way he discussed the roles of women rubbed me wrong.\u00a0 To me, it felt like he offered praise for motherhood to the exclusion of all other potential roles for women, believing that \u201cwomen were prepared that they may bear children and glorify God.\u201d[22]<\/a>\u00a0 In marriage, while he talks about the idea of a partnership (\u201cneither dominion nor subservience, but a lateral relationship as partners, to work and to live, side by side\u201d),[23]<\/a> he usually focuses on the roles of women in that partnership as being limited to teaching the gospel, shaping her children and husband into what they need to be to serve God, and bearing children.[24]<\/a>\u00a0 He tended to pigeonhole women as having innate characteristics related to nurturing (i.e., \u201cher divine gift is to nurture, to help the young, to care for the poor, to lift the brokenhearted\u201d), portraying attributes that women might gain or exemplify by looking outside of traditional roles in negative terms: \u201cbeing selfish,\u201d exercising \u201cdominion,\u201d and seeking \u201cnotoriety.\u201d[25]<\/a>\u00a0 Even for those women who have not had the opportunity to marry, often the best he could come up with were things like: \u201cThe virtue and intelligence of women are uniquely applicable to other realms as well, such as compassionate service and teaching,\u201d[26]<\/a> and that \u201cevery<\/em> women is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.\u201d[27]<\/a>\u00a0 While I recognize that motherhood is important and I respect his efforts to praise that role, his perspective struck me as being patriarchal and narrow-minded in regards to the potential of women beyond bearing and raising children on many occasions (though that may be the result of a generational gap between him and me or a particular sensitivity to this topic on my part).<\/p>\n That being said, President Nelson has also been an advocate in his words for women to make their voices heard and the idea that they are equal with men in God\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 He sees men and women as being equal in God’s eyes because they have equal opportunities for salvation: \u201cBlessings of the priesthood are shared by men and women. All may qualify for baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. All may take upon themselves the name of the Lord and partake of the sacrament. All may pray and receive answers to their prayers. Gifts of the Spirit and testimonies of the truth are bestowed regardless of gender. Men and women receive the highest ordinance in the house of the Lord together and equally, or not at all.\u201d[28]<\/a>\u00a0 He has expressed that because women \u201cpossess distinctive capabilities and special intuition you have received as gifts from God,\u201d we need to hear and listen to their voices in Church councils and in family councils. \u00a0As he told women in the Church on one occasion: \u201cWhatever your calling, whatever your circumstances, we need your impressions, your insights, and your inspiration. We need you to speak up and speak out in ward and stake councils.\u201d[29]<\/a><\/p>\n Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n While much of this post discusses topics and concerns that aren\u2019t particularly unique to Russell M. Nelson among modern Church leaders, no discussion of frequent topics in his general conference addresses would be complete while neglecting his interest in families.\u00a0 Whether it be his memorable quotes that \u201cthe home is the great laboratory of love\u201d and that \u201cwhile salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter\u201d; his encouragement and advice to parents and partners in marriage; or his respect and admiration for mothers, concerns relating to families are central topics in President Nelson\u2019s ministry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Footnotes:<\/strong><\/p>\n [1]<\/a> \u201cOur Sacred Duty to Honor Women,\u201d CR April 1999, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1999\/04\/our-sacred-duty-to-honor-women?lang=eng<\/a>, see also \u201cThe Canker of Contention,\u201d CR April 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/04\/the-canker-of-contention?lang=eng<\/a> and \u201cSalvation and Exaltation,\u201d CR April 2008, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2008\/04\/salvation-and-exaltation?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Cited in Eugene England, \u201cWhy the Church Is As True As the Gospel,\u201d Eugene England Foundation<\/em>, http:\/\/eugeneengland.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sbi\/articles\/1999_e_004.pdf<\/a>. \u00a0I haven\u2019t been able to find the original quote.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> \u201cCelestial Marriage,\u201d CR October 2008, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2008\/10\/celestial-marriage?lang=eng<\/a>, see also \u201cSalvation and Exaltation,\u201d CR April 2008, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2008\/04\/salvation-and-exaltation?lang=eng<\/a> and \u201cCome, Follow Me,\u201d CR April 2019, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2019\/04\/46nelson?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [4]<\/a> \u201cA Plea to My Sisters,\u201d CR October 2015, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2015\/10\/a-plea-to-my-sisters?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [5]<\/a> \u201cRoots and Branches,\u201d CR April 2004, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2004\/04\/roots-and-branches?lang=eng<\/a>.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> \u201cListen to Learn, CR April 1991, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1991\/04\/listen-to-learn?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [7]<\/a> \u201cClosing Remarks,\u201d CR April 2019, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2019\/04\/57nelson?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [8]<\/a> \u201cEmbrace the Future with Faith,\u201d\u00a0 CR Oct 2020, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2020\/10\/37nelson?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [9]<\/a> \u201cRepentance and Conversion,\u201d CR April 2007, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2007\/04\/repentance-and-conversion?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [10]<\/a> \u201cSet in Order Thy House,\u201d CR October 2001, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2001\/10\/set-in-order-thy-house?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [11]<\/a> \u201cOur Sacred Duty to Honor Women,\u201d CR April 1999, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1999\/04\/our-sacred-duty-to-honor-women?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [12]<\/a> \u201cNurturing Marriage,\u201d CR April 2006, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2006\/04\/nurturing-marriage?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [13]<\/a> \u201cListen to Learn, CR April 1991, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1991\/04\/listen-to-learn?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [14]<\/a> \u201cEndure and Be Lifted Up,\u201d CR October 1997, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1997\/04\/endure-and-be-lifted-up?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [15]<\/a> \u201cNurturing Marriage,\u201d CR April 2006, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2006\/04\/nurturing-marriage?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [16]<\/a> \u201cNurturing Marriage,\u201d CR April 2006, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2006\/04\/nurturing-marriage?lang=eng<\/a> See also \u201cWe Can Do Better and Be Better,\u201d CR April 2019, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2019\/04\/36nelson?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [17]<\/a> \u201cOur Sacred Duty to Honor Women,\u201d CR April 1999, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1999\/04\/our-sacred-duty-to-honor-women?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [18]<\/a> \u201cWoman\u2014Of Infinite Worth,\u201d CR October 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/10\/woman-of-infinite-worth?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [19]<\/a> \u201cSisters\u2019 Participation in the Gathering of Israel,\u201d CR October 2018, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2018\/10\/sisters-participation-in-the-gathering-of-israel?lang=eng<\/a>.\u00a0 One wonders whether he would have considered the possibility of being a stay-at-home father if he had the opportunity, though I understand that wasn\u2019t so much a thing back in his generation.<\/p>\n [20]<\/a> \u201cOur Sacred Duty to Honor Women, CR, April 1999, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1999\/04\/our-sacred-duty-to-honor-women?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [21]<\/a> \u201cEndure and Be Lifted Up,\u201d CR October 1997, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/1997\/04\/endure-and-be-lifted-up?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [22]<\/a> \u201cRoots and Branches,\u201d CR April 2004, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2004\/04\/roots-and-branches?lang=eng<\/a>.<\/p>\n [23]<\/a> \u201cLessons from Eve,\u201d CR October 1987, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1987\/10\/lessons-from-eve?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [24]<\/a> See, for example, \u201cWoman\u2014Of Infinite Worth,\u201d CR October 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/10\/woman-of-infinite-worth?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [25]<\/a> \u201cWoman\u2014Of Infinite Worth,\u201d CR October 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/10\/woman-of-infinite-worth?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [26]<\/a> \u201cWoman\u2014Of Infinite Worth,\u201d CR October 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/10\/woman-of-infinite-worth?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [27]<\/a> \u201cSisters\u2019 Participation in the Gathering of Israel,\u201d CR October 2018, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2018\/10\/sisters-participation-in-the-gathering-of-israel?lang=eng<\/a>.<\/p>\n [28]<\/a> \u201cWoman\u2014Of Infinite Worth,\u201d CR October 1989, https:\/\/www.lds.org\/general-conference\/1989\/10\/woman-of-infinite-worth?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n [29]<\/a> \u201cA Plea to My Sisters,\u201d CR October 2015, https:\/\/www.churchofjesuschrist.org\/study\/general-conference\/2015\/10\/a-plea-to-my-sisters?lang=eng<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Throughout my time studying President Nelson\u2019s conference addresses, I observed that one topic that he came back to over and over is families.\u00a0 Whether it be decrying the fragmentation of families, encouraging men to pay more attention to their wives, or offering encouragement to women who are mothers, Russell M. Nelson has had a lot to say about families over the years. In discussing this topic, this puts us here in the overall scheme of thing: Introductory Thoughts President Nelson\u2019s Favorite Topics and Phrases God and Power The Church, Priesthood, and Gathering Israel Family Plan of Salvation Examining the Sources in President Nelson\u2019s Talks Potential Long-Term Impact of President Nelson\u2019s Addresses The Family Two of the most frequently repeated statements from Russell M. Nelson are focused on families.\u00a0 The first is: \u201cThe home is the great laboratory of love. There the raw chemicals of selfishness and greed are melded in the crucible of cooperation to yield compassionate concern and love one for another.\u201d[1]\u00a0 He sees families as an important training ground for individuals to learn to love, echoing the statement attributed to the Protestant reformer Martin Luther that \u201cmarriage is the school of love.\u201d[2] \u00a0The second is that: \u201cWhile […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10397,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1284,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-conference-features","category-general-doctrine"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10397"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40989"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40992,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40989\/revisions\/40992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}