Bribery.<\/p>\n
Our early attempts at bribery were simple. Wash the dishes, and you can have a popsicle. Don’t fight with your brother, or there will be no dessert. Simple; and for some children, effective.<\/p>\n
There are problems with such a system. The number of chores and mandates — do the dishes, do your homework, practice piano, brush your teeth, don’t fight with your siblings, and so on — vastly exceeds the number of possible bribes. This undercuts the effective power of simple bribery: Tiny bribes are unconvincing, and big bribes can’t always be matched to tasks.<\/p>\n
Also, bribery has to fit with punishment. Punishments cannot be so draconian as to remove all further incentives; punishments should deter bad behavior, in a way that also allows for rearding for good behavior; they also have to allow for added punishment for increased misbehavior. Defenestration is not an option. <\/p>\n
Time to build a better bribe. <\/p>\n
A few months ago, we started an experiment, born out of frustration from yet another day of repeatedly asking the kids to do the same things. On the spur of the moment, I dubbed the system Warbucks. (Yes, like in Annie.) Kids earn Warbucks for doing chores, as set out on a predetermined pay chart. Once they’ve got enough bucks, they can go shopping in the War Chest, which is a big plastic tub with toys, goodies, and so on. <\/p>\n
It’s taken a few weeks to calibrate the system, but at present it seems to be working rather well. So we have a pay chart with items like: <\/p>\n
Practice Piano (20 minutes):\t2 bucks
\nTake out trash (1 large bag)\t2 bucks
\nBrush teeth (morning)\t1 buck
\nBrush teeth (evening)\t1 buck
\nComplete homework\tVaries, usually 3-5 bucks
\nClean bathroom floor\t2 bucks
\nWash and dry a load of laundry\t2 bucks
\nFold and put away load of laundry\t2 bucks
\nTake a bath \/ shower\t2 bucks
\nLoad dishwasher\t3 bucks
\nUnload dishwasher\t2 bucks
\nMake bed \t1 buck<\/p><\/blockquote>\nAnd so on.<\/p>\n
There are also family bucks — things that give bucks to everyone, like family prayer (1 buck). And in one of my more devious moments, I added Bonus Bucks — bucks that all three kids get when all three have completed some chore. This encourages the kids to remind their siblings to brush teeth, for instance. <\/p>\n
And of course there are penalties.<\/p>\n
Whining\t-2 bucks
\nGrumpiness\t-2 bucks
\nLoud yelling or screaming\t-2 bucks
\nChewing clothing\t-2 bucks
\nMessy bedroom \t-5 bucks
\nCreating messes and not cleaning them up\t-5 bucks
\nArguing or squabbling\t-5 bucks
\nTalking back\t-5 bucks
\nMeanness \t-5 bucks
\nHitting or Fighting\t-10 bucks
\nLying\t-10 bucks\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\nAfter that, we printed up some currency — simple cardstock bills in different denominations, using different colors for different kinds of bills, to make for easier use. The kids earn their bucks daily. <\/p>\n
The prizes are the really fun part. A partial list: <\/p>\n
Lollipop\t5 bucks
\nTootsie Roll\t5 bucks
\nSmarties\t10 bucks
\nBalloon\t10 bucks
\nPrincess earring stickers (per pair)\t10 bucks
\nBlow-Pop\t20 bucks
\nPage of stickers\t20 bucks
\nPeanut butter cup\t20 bucks
\nHair band\t20 bucks
\nBag of gummy bears\t25 bucks
\nBag of goldfish\t25 bucks
\nMini-size candy bar\t25 bucks
\nColored pencil\t30 bucks
\nPudding cup\t30 bucks
\nMatchbox car\t30 bucks
\nBag of Oreos\t30 bucks
\nBag of chips\t30 bucks
\nBag of Teddy Grahams \t30 bucks
\nSidewalk chalk\t35 bucks
\nScoop of ice cream\t40 bucks
\nFun-size candy bar\t40 bucks
\nSmall Play Dough\t50 bucks
\nPopsicle\t50 bucks
\nCan of soda\t50 bucks
\nSmall toy airplane\t60 bucks
\nTwisty pencil\t60 bucks
\nTennis ball\t60 bucks
\nRegular-size candy bar\t60 bucks
\nPEZ dispenser\t80 bucks
\nFinger paint (one container)\t80 bucks
\nColoring book \t80 bucks
\nTrip to AM\/PM to get a candy bar and soda\t100 bucks<\/p><\/blockquote>\nWe try to keep the war chest stocked with things the kids really want. We occasionally have one-day sales on some item, or limited-time increases in pay. Want the living room cleaned, really fast? Announce triple warbucks for cleaning, for the next hour only. <\/p>\n
The administration gets a little burdensome, sometimes. (I eventually announced a “one-trip-to-the-bank-per-day” rule after the boys repeatedly asked to trade up the next denomination every time they hit it.) But the kids seem to be enjoying it, and it seems to be working. It’s helped even out some of the rewards and punishments we give, and allowed for more finely calibrated responses. And it’s worked very well for our wild and rambunctious middle child, who seems a lot like yours. Threatening to (future) take away toys or privileges is often too vague and intangible for this child, who lives entirely in the present and never worries about the future. Fining him warbucks _right now_ has proved to be a great way to curb bad behavior. <\/p>\n
I don’t know how it will end up, long-term. I suspect we’ll continue to tinker with the regime. But for now, it’s working pretty well. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bribery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3809"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3809\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}