{"id":3552,"date":"2006-11-03T18:08:10","date_gmt":"2006-11-03T22:08:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/?p=3552"},"modified":"2006-11-03T18:11:02","modified_gmt":"2006-11-03T22:11:02","slug":"mice-and-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/2006\/11\/mice-and-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Mice and men"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If we&#8217;ve learned one thing in the past week, it is this:  Mice are not good Mormons.  <!--more-->Mouse-ologists tell us that <a href=\"http:\/\/www.slate.com\/id\/2152452\/fr\/rss\/\">mice enjoy sleeping around, and apparently derive some health benefits from the practice<\/a>.  Oh, and they also like their wine, and we&#8217;re now hearing that <a href=\"http:\/\/today.reuters.co.uk\/news\/articlenews.aspx?type=scienceNews&#038;storyID=2006-11-01T160824Z_01_L01468622_RTRIDST_0_SCIENCE-SCIENCE-MICE-DC.XML\">a healthy mouse is a wine-bibber<\/a>.  No word as of yet on whether mouse wine-drinking is connected to mouse promiscuity.  Follow-up experiments will focus on that question, and also whether mice can really tell the difference between a Robert Parker recommendation and a bland jug wine.<\/p>\n<p>All things being equal, it&#8217;s likely that the antichrist is a mouse.  (<a href=\"http:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/?p=2603\">So Nate was on the right track, but took a wrong turn<\/a>.)  He&#8217;s a promiscuous, wine-drinking mouse, and probably one who doesn&#8217;t read his scriptures at that.  And don&#8217;t even get me started on his sanitary habits.  Also, this rodent antichrist has friends, lots of them.  The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.feministmormonhousewives.org\/?p=790\">legions of darkness are already attacking the homes of the faithful<\/a>.  <\/p>\n<p>We must defend ourselves.  Every home should have a 72 hour kit, a year&#8217;s supply, and a big box of mouse traps.  Bait your traps with wine, and with pictures of female mice in scanty attire.  May the best mammal win.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If we&#8217;ve learned one thing in the past week, it is this: Mice are not good Mormons.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3552"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3552\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}