<\/p>\n
December 11th<\/sup><\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cBy a fluke, this year when I went to scout camp, I only packed one pair of socks.\u201d<\/p>\n December 30th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cNow that the statute of limitations has run out, I can tell you what you didn’t know about that time when I was six and you caught me taking the screens off of my [second-story, Julie might note here] windows. Matthew and I were planning on using my sleeping bags as parachutes and jumping out the window to go and eat ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n January 9th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cI can only learn one thing today. And today I learned the proper pitch to yodel.\u201d<\/p>\n January 10th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Simon, \u201cYou know, I was thinking about this recipe and how hard it is to get a recipe perfect. And then I thought, thank you, Patriarchy, for keeping all of those smiling women in the kitchen for all those years to perfect the recipes. Sniff, sniff, oh, I have a little bit of chauvinism in the corner of my eye.\u201d<\/p>\n January 18th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cThey asked us in Primary which time in scripture history we wanted to go back to. But I couldn’t think of one because everything back then was all plague-y.\u201d<\/p>\n January 21st<\/sup>: January 29th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, completely seriously, to Julie: \u201cI thought you were 29.\u201d<\/p>\n February 2nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cTru, please hurry and finish your lunch so we can finish your schoolwork.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cOh, I’m already finished with my lunch. Now I’m just stalling.\u201d<\/p>\n February 4th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie nags the boys (again!) about cutting their hair.<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cBut your hair is longer than ours!\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cWhy are you trying to enforce strict gender roles?\u201d February 19th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cYou know, I should use my spelling words as my passwords online because I always remember my passwords.\u201d<\/p>\n February 20th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWould you shame me if I had dinner for breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n March 3rd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan, complaining about Julie’s rationale for throwing away his pacifiers when he was a toddler: \u201cWhat if I just took Truman and threw him out because I thought you were ‘getting too attached to him’?\u201d<\/p>\n March 9th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhenever anyone in this family says that he’s waiting patiently, he isn’t.\u201d<\/p>\n March 16th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, completely seriously: \u201cDo fish sticks have fish in them?\u201d<\/p>\n March 29th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie, upon realizing that Truman has no idea what a card catalog is: \u201cGet over here. I’m going to teach you about your cultural heritage.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cNo. I’m not interested in learning about anything BT. That’s ‘Before Truman.’\u201d<\/p>\n March 31st<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Part of Truman’s grammar assignment was to write an interrogative sentence which his teacher might say to him: \u201cWill you do your chores, then give me a back rub, then run on the treadmill that powers the house, you stupid maggot?\u201d<\/p>\n April 9th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie explains to Truman that they should arrive at their relative’s house at about 10pm.<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cSo we’ll get there, do the whole ‘my, look how much you’ve grown!’ thing, and then go to bed?\u201d<\/p>\n May 19th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cI’m afraid if you don’t stop, you will go into a sugar coma.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cI don’t know what that is, but it has the word ‘sugar’ in it, so I want to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n May 16th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, facing down a Greek translation assignment: \u201cIt’s more like trans-hating.\u201d<\/p>\n August 14th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, sweeping the floor: \u201cI think I’m going on strike until you raise my allowance.\u201d<\/p>\n August 14th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman to Julie: \u201cStop staring at me! I’m not adorable.\u201d<\/p>\n August 24th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cAre you going to finish your math? Because there’s a pool party today and . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cI see what you are doing! You are evil!\u201d<\/p>\n August 26th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman is getting a physical and the doctor is reviewing safety issues with him.<\/p>\n Physician: \u201cSo if you were out playing and someone asked you to get into his car, what would you do?\u201d August 30th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cDid you know that I’m the best in my grade? The head of my class? Prom king? The best athlete? And I set the curve.\u201d<\/p>\n August 31st<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cBlue Bell should just come out with listeria-flavored ice cream.\u201d<\/p>\n September 23rd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie is explaining to Truman how the church chooses new apostles.<\/p>\n Derrick: \u201c. . . and then they have the swimsuit competition . . .\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201c . . . and then the prophet turns around, throws a Book of Mormon over his shoulder, and whoever catches it . . .\u201d<\/p>\n September 25th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan, upon learning that the Vatican is a country: \u201cSo do they have nukes? Are they like, ‘Hm, some of those Protestant nations have been talkin’ smack?’ Do they waterboard people\u2014with holy water?\u201d<\/p>\n September 25th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWal-Mart should sell little tiny stools. And then when you went in, they could give out stool samples!\u201d<\/p>\n September 26th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan tells an extremely tasteless joke.<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cNo, no, no.\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cI just did an important social service in helping to minimize the taboo on that topic. You’re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n September 28th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, with a smirk, \u201cMom, I’m having a really hard time learning these two Greek words because their English meaning is pretty much the same.\u201d He hands Julie two flashcards. She turns them over: \u201cthe demon\u201d and \u201cthe teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n September 30th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cBe sure you brush your hair.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhy? I’m not going to prom.\u201d<\/p>\n October 4th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhy are you wearing a tablecloth?\u201d<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cIt’s not a tablecloth! It’s a skirt!\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cI’m going to go upstairs and think about what I said.\u201d<\/p>\n October 6th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman’s Poem:<\/p>\n My Kind of School<\/p>\n my school’s a bum<\/p>\n all due to my mum<\/p>\n you cannot chew gum<\/p>\n and you’re not allowed to have fun<\/p>\n and you are never done<\/p>\n your brain will explode<\/p>\n and your eyes will implode<\/p>\n October 12th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cI want to get a housewarming gift but I’m not sure what to get.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cThimble drums!\u201d<\/p>\n October 19th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman refers to the \u201ctetris shot\u201d he had to get in his foot. (Hint: tetanus.)<\/p>\n November 19th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, after doing something embarrassing: \u201cAnd I don’t want to see this on any social media!\u201d<\/p>\n December 2nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cIf global warming melts the entire North Pole, what happens to Santa?\u201d<\/p>\n December 13th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cI think it’s time to re-think this whole ‘everyone gets to vote’ thing.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-politics"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34553"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34553\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34554,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34553\/revisions\/34554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nTruman, completely seriously: \u201cDo we have connections to the Mafia?\u201d<\/p>\n
\nSimon: \u201cIt’s the matriarchy!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nTruman: \u201cDepends\u2014does he have candy?\u201d<\/p>\n