<\/p>\n
December 22nd<\/sup><\/p>\n Nathan, eyeing Derrick’s new bottle of Korean hot sauce: \u201cNext time, you should get the North Korean hot sauce. The bottle is empty and if you complain, they kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n December 22nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, to Julie: \u201cYou smell like Chapstick and old people.\u201d<\/p>\n December 24th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman, to Nathan: \u201cSocks with sandals? What kind of a monster are you?\u201d<\/p>\n December 25th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan, for reasons unclear, wears a hot dog costume to Christmas dinner. He ends up in a disagreement with Derrick (about whether a bass guitar player needs to learn how to read music) and, at the point when the argument is going poorly for him, says, \u201cBut you<\/i> are arguing with someone in a hot dog costume.\u201d<\/p>\n March 5th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhen you pray, do you have to say ‘amen’? Is it like pressing the ‘send’ button on an email?\u201d<\/p>\n March 9th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cMom, in the scriptures does it say that you can’t eat raw eggs?\u201d<\/p>\n March 13th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cCan I use these pickles?\u201d<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cYes, but please be conservative with them.\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan, addressing the pickles: \u201cNo gay marriage! No raising taxes!\u201d<\/p>\n March 13th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman is choking down horseradish-flavored potato chips with obvious distaste.<\/p>\n Derrick: \u201cYou know, you don’t have to eat those.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cI’m practicing eating gross food for when I am a missionary.\u201d<\/p>\n March 19th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan’s solution to gender-based pay inequality: \u201cWe should invent a third gender and they would get to make all of the hiring decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n March 20th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cI’ve got a better way to choose the president. At the inauguration, the president should toss the Bible over his shoulder into the crowd and whoever catches it should be the next president.\u201d<\/p>\n March 20th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cNathan, you are adorable.\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cNo! Stop that! That’s bullying!\u201d<\/p>\n March 22nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Simon: \u201cFacebook is just a giant confirmation bias box.\u201d<\/p>\n March 24th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie is explaining to Truman that the skate discount applies only to family members; Truman responds, \u201cBut we are all children of Adam and Eve.\u201d<\/p>\n April 10th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cWhat if love for parents is nothing more than Stockholm Syndrome?\u201d<\/p>\n May 20th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhere’s Nathan?\u201d May 27th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cAren’t Canadians just shaved wolves that can vote?\u201d<\/p>\n June 23rd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cDoes me sleeping curled up in a ball decrease my growth rate?\u201d<\/p>\n June 29th<\/sup><\/p>\n Truman: \u201cDoes it count as a lie if you tell a turkey that it will be OK after Thanksgiving? Does it count as a lie since the animal can’t understand what you are saying?\u201d<\/p>\n July 13th<\/sup><\/p>\n Nathan, re his birthday: \u201cI’m always happy to be one year closer to death.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman, re whether Nathan was telling the truth about how old he’s turning: \u201cI’ve learned with this family that it’s always best to check more than one source.\u201d<\/p>\n July 14th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cWhat’s for dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cCheeseburger pasta.\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cAnd how will you accomplish that?\u201d<\/p>\n July 18th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan, who normally hates the poems he has to memorize: \u201cSee, this poem [=\u201cThe Charge of the Light Brigade\u201d] I actually like because it is about six hundred men riding into the mouth of hell. Why can’t I get more poems like this?\u201d<\/p>\n July 28th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Simon: \u201cHey, mom, there are three articles in The Economist<\/i> that say that intelligence has more to do with genetics than parenting, so can I be free-range?\u201d<\/p>\n August 2nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Things you never thought you’d have to say:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cTruman, no more decorating things in your room with your own blood.\u201d<\/p>\n September 13th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cWas Jonah kosher or is that whale going to hell?\u201d<\/p>\n September 22nd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cYou are so delicious, I could eat you for breakfast!\u201d<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cThat’s kind of demeaning.\u201d<\/p>\n September 26th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: “What do people _do_ in heaven? Is it all sitting around on couches and eating chips?”<\/p>\n Julie: “We can only hope.”<\/p>\n October 18th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan makes a really bad pun.<\/p>\n Julie: \u201cYou’re lame!\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan: \u201cWe really need to do something about the bullying problem in our school.\u201d<\/p>\n October 31st<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Nathan is complaining about sentences that end with prepositions.<\/p>\n Simon: \u201cIt’s idiomatic. Which means that enough idiots have said it that it has become OK.\u201d<\/p>\n November 3rd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Truman: \u201cHave you ever used a placebo on us?\u201d<\/p>\n November 23rd<\/sup>:<\/p>\n Julie: (choking on her lunch, can’t catch her breath)<\/p>\n Simon: “If you die, may I have your laptop?” Julie: “Hm, I forgot my grocery bags. Guess we have to use the plastic ones this time.”<\/p>\n Nathan: “What? You will be personally responsible for the destruction of the rain forest! How can you look one of those adorable little koalas in the eye and–”<\/p>\n Julie: “THERE ARE NO KOALAS IN THE RAIN FOREST!”<\/p>\n Nathan: “Yes there are! I know my geology! Are you doubting my koala-fications here? Because if I told you I was an expert on big cats, then I’d be lion, but I know koalas!”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
\nJulie: \u201cI think he’s upstairs. Why?
\nTruman: \u201cBecause the word gullible IS in the dictionary!\u201d<\/p>\n
\nDecember 4th<\/sup>:<\/p>\n