January 11th
\nNathan: \u201cThese hiccups are damaging my moral compass.\u201d<\/p>\n
January 15th
\nAfter the kitchen table being in the wrong position for a few days, Julie moved it.
\nSimon: \u201cThe kitchen is all non-Euclidian now.\u201d<\/p>\n
January 15th
\nJulie: \u201cNathan, if there are dirty dishes in that sink when I get up tomorrow morning, I\u2019m going to have a fit.\u201d
\nNathan: \u201cWill it be the kind of fit that would get a million hits on YouTube?\u201d<\/p>\n
January 21st
\nTruman, looking at a map: \u201cI didn\u2019t realize Kansas was real. I thought it was just made up.\u201d<\/p>\n
January 27th
\nDerrick: \u201cSo. How was your Sunday School class?\u201d
\nNathan: \u201cDo you want to hear about it now or wait for it on the news?\u201d<\/p>\n
February 11th
\nJulie is trying to convince Nathan not to dread his hair cut too much: \u201cI bought new clippers. I think it might be less unpleasant this time.\u201d
\nNathan: \u201cOnly a bad dancer blames the shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n
February 14th
\nTruman: \u201cIs it insulting to Heavenly Mother when I tell you that you are the best Mom ever?\u201d<\/p>\n
February 19th
\nTruman, handing Julie a completed math assignment to correct: \u201cIf I get anything wrong, you should blame yourself for teaching me poorly.\u201d<\/p>\n
March 27th
\nJulie: \u201cHow are you?\u201d
\nSimon: \u201cFine, except my Nutella levels are running critically low.\u201d<\/p>\n
March 30th
\nJulie: \u201cWho put their Peeps into the fridge? That\u2019s freakish.\u201d
\nNathan: \u201cOh, sorry, that was me. I was just chillin\u2019 with my peeps.\u201d<\/p>\n
April 4th
\nTruman, reading from a book: \u201cMom, is it true that \u2018no one ever got rich being honest\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
April 10th
\nNathan: \u201cMom, I remodeled my closet into a geek cave and since I know you are too lazy to walk all the way upstairs to see it, I made this video of it to show you.\u201d<\/p>\n
April 16th
\nNathan, in an email: By opening this email you have activated the Amish computer virus, however the Amish don’t have computers so it works on a honor roll. please delete all your files thank you<\/p>\n
June 11th
\nSimon snuck into the document that Julie was preparing with info for Derrick when she was out of town next week. Here are his additions to the list of chores, activities, etc.:<\/p>\n
M: Go to Ci-Cis for a sleepover. Stay till they kick you out, then sue.
\nT: remember, Truman will be getting that Peruvian lynx delivered soon. Feed it giblets and hardtack, or it will break loose.
\nW: Nutella sandwiches with sweet relish and Dijon mustard for dinner. Don’t forget the smoked paprika.
\nTh: Tomorrow will be an unlimited bacchanal for TV and nutella. Remember to stock up before 5:00 am.
\nF: Simon is exempt from all work whatsoever. Please buy him ice cream and take him to the movies to see iron man 3 and whatever else he wants.
\nS: Do you remember how I told you to get fiddler on the roof? Rent it for the boys tonight, along with a jar of cheese balls.<\/p>\n
Under dinner options:
\n–Shark fin soup in blood pudding. Look in the back of the freezer.<\/p>\n
Under chores:
\n—-paint Simon’s room Royal Bleau with gold streaks. Ask him about specifics.<\/p>\n
July 19th
\nNathan, upon discovering that there was shredded zucchini in the chocolate chip bread he was eating: \u201cI am outraged! But not enough to stop eating it.\u201d<\/p>\n
July 28th
\nTruman to Julie: \u201cI\u2019m not saying that you are fat. I\u2019m just saying that your legs are cushiony.\u201d<\/p>\n
August 5th
\nNathan: \u201cMom, I had a dream that Chuck Norris said that he didn\u2019t like your pasta and so you beat him to death.\u201d<\/p>\n
August 5th
\nTruman: \u201cMom, for lunch, could I make some frozen vegetables with butter on them?\u201d
\nJ: \u201cSure.\u201d
\nTruman: \u201cGood! I just wanted butter and wanted to see what I could get away with.\u201d<\/p>\n
August 15th
\nTruman, upon looking at the daily schedule and realizing that he has to do his laundry and clean his room: \u201cI am not a big fan of this day.\u201d<\/p>\n
August 19th
\nTruman: \u201cDad, after dinner, will you please walk on your hands?\u201d<\/p>\n
August 19th
\nJulie: \u201cTruman, we have to talk about some things for one of your scout requirements.\u201d
\nTruman: \u201cWhat is it?\u201d
\nJulie: \u201cWell, the first one is \u2018Discuss with your family how a cheerful and positive attitude will help you to do your best at school and in other areas of your life.\u2019\u201d
\nTruman: (falling over with laughter) \u201cLike that\u2019s ever going to even help!\u201d<\/p>\n
August 21st
\nTruman, regarding our dinner company: \u201cActually, they are late, but I am not going to judge them for that, because it is only 120 seconds.\u201d<\/p>\n
August 31st
\nJulie (in jest, in response to Nathan\u2019s plans re cannibalism): \u201cYou are a bad, bad child.\u201d
\nNathan: \u201cYou only just realized that?\u201d<\/p>\n
September 9th
\nNathan: \u201cI think the US should be part communist. There should be things that only the government is allowed to sell. Like Tupperware. Then all of the lids would match and fit.\u201d<\/p>\n
November 1st
\nAunt Lauri: \u201cTruman, you are so cute with your light hair and brown eyes.\u201d
\nTruman: \u201cThank you for believing in my cuteness.\u201d<\/p>\n
December 5th
\nJulie is trying to help Truman discover the error that he made in a math problem: \u201cIs it true that 7 minus 10 is 70?\u201d
\nTruman: \u201cIn some cultures it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
December 6th
\nTruman, singing: \u201cYankee Doodle went to town in a half-eaten horse sleigh.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28411"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28411\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28464,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28411\/revisions\/28464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}