When I was counselor in the Belgium-Netherlands mission presidency, the mission president asked me one day to handle the following. He had received a letter from a Utah family informing him that they had hosted a Belgian student as part of a high school exchange program. The family was \u201csuper excited\u201d to tell the mission president that they had succeeded in converting the girl to the church. She had been baptized! But now that the girl was about to return home, it appeared that her Belgian parents were \u201cvery upset\u201d. So, would the mission president please make sure that the girl would be welcomed in her new ward in Belgium since she \u201cmight face some opposition at home\u201d?<\/p>\n
It was not the first time I was confronted with such a situation. My reaction was plain: this girl should never have been baptized during the time she was in the exchange program even if she was of legal age (18) to make her own decision.<\/p>\n
The reasons are obvious.<\/p>\n
Toward the student\u2019s family abroad, a host family should realize the devastating dimension of trying to change the religion of a young person entrusted to their care. Imagine the effect on Mormon parents if their teenage son or daughter, sent away for what is meant as a\u00a0safe intercultural experience, is being maneuvered by the host family to reject Mormonism and to become, for example, an evangelical, a scientologist, or an atheist. The choice and value of the religion or ideology as such is not the issue here. In the eyes of the student’s parents, the issue is luring teenagers into betraying their family\u2019s cultural heritage and identity while they are in a vulnerable situation, isolated from home, and unable to objectively assess the consequences of their decision.<\/p>\n
That is why strict rules govern secondary school student exchange programs in order to protect the physical, cultural, and emotional integrity of the participants who are, in most cases, between 15 and 18 years of age. The U.S. Department of State has a long set of criteria\u00a0<\/a> for such programs. Information to be collected from host family candidates includes their willingness to disclose their religious affiliation and to respect the religious affiliation of the exchange student. The regulation under Appendix F adds this note: \u201cA host family may want the exchange visitor to attend one or more religious services or programs with the family. The exchange visitor cannot be required to do so, but may decide to experience this facet of U.S. culture at his or her discretion.\u201d<\/em> Most exchange programs are particularly sensitive to this issue, as they are well aware of the conflicts that may arise over religion, and have therefore the explicit rule that religious conversion is prohibited during the stay, even with parental permission and even if the student is of legal age.<\/p>\n If the exchange student wants to \u201cexperience this [religious] facet of U.S. culture\u201d and decides to participate to a certain extent in the Mormon religious lifestyle (attending church or youth conferences, join in Scripture reading and prayer…), that is certainly commendable, but there is no reason to see this as a proselytizing opportunity.<\/p>\n Of course, even without proselytizing aims, there is a chance the student will be impressed and at one point feel the spirit in one way or another. But we must realize that Mormon life in a well-organized ward, with plenty of youth, experienced youth leaders, and smoothly running programs, is usually a far cry from what the church can offer in the student\u2019s home country. Over the years I have seen several cases where an exchange student, converted to this \u201cexciting\u201d Mormonism while being in the U.S., could not adapt to the reality of the local, small and struggling church unit and drifted away, with renewed tensions during the process, adding to the emotional turmoil.<\/p>\n