What I’m not good at is keeping a journal. What I am good at is writing down in my planner the funny things that my kids say and then printing them up to put in our Christmas card each year: <\/p>\n
December 5th, 2003
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, you be the French Peas and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be Gilgamesh.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
December 18th, 2003
\nDerrick, after turning the house upside down: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Simon, have you seen my razor?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why, sure I have. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re using it as a wheel on the garbage truck me and Nathan built.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
December 31st, 2003
\nNathan, first walking into the unfinished part of Aunt Susie\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s basement: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is so beautiful.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
January 7th, 2004
\nWe learn why candlelight dinners usually don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t involve children: Simon set his hair on fire leaning over his plate.<\/p>\n
Simon is dragging a suitcase around the house as Julie unpacks
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gee, Simon, that suitcase sure looks heavy. What did you put in there?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nathan.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
January 9th, 2004
\nNathan mispronounces \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcvampires\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 as \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcvampapires.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is that the paper that vampires use?\u00e2\u20ac? (i.e, vam-papyrus)<\/p>\n
January 29th, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to be Easter in two minutes!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
January 30th, 2004
\nNathan, through the bathroom door to Julie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, be sure to wash your hands! Use soap!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
January 31st
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, where can I hide my binkies?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie, not wanting them too well hidden: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How about in the sink?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No! They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll drown!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
Simon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, do you remember who gave me this robe for Christmas? I think I need to thank them again because I love it so much!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
February 12th, 2004
\nJulie, getting cut off in traffic: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The nerve!\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s part of the human body!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
February 13th, 2004
\nNathan (howling): \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Simon hit me!\u00e2\u20ac?
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It was a sort of a gentle, hardish pat.\u00e2\u20ac?
\n(Julie tries not to laugh.)
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do you want to go write that one down?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
February 19th, 2004
\nNathan, showing off his cookie with creatively placed bites taken out of it: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, look! I made this into the Jolly Roger!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
March 6th, 2004
\nNathan, after Julie told him that she was hosting a baby shower: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, is the baby going to use our shower?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
March 13th, 2004
\nWe couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t figure out why Simon was so intent on coming up with a new name for himself until he showed us his fortune cookie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You will make a name for yourself.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
March 28th, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to bathe in water because that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s too scary for me.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
April 3rd, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, am I dead?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
April 5th, 2004
\nJulie and the boys watched a documentary that showed open heart surgery on a small child. A few days later, Simon asked if doctors had to go to the doctor when they were sick, so Julie explained about specialists. A few days after that, Nathan put the pieces together and said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Grandpa Wayne is a skin doctor. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want him to take my heart out.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
April 7th, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Look at the beautifulness of our lawn!\u00e2\u20ac? (You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to see our lawn to really be able to appreciate this one.)<\/p>\n
April 17th, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, Nathan is making me crazy. And he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to keep making em crazy. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to get mad. And he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not going to stop. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to want to hit him. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to hit him. And then you are going to send me to time out for NO REASON.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
April 18th, 2004
\nNathan, referring to Julie\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s kimono: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, where did you get that?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Daddy brought it to me from Japan.\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Was Daddy stuck in our globe toy?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 6th, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dad, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just one problem with that observation .\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 7th, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, make a hypothesis about what my favorite food is.\u00e2\u20ac?
\n(can you tell what we learned in science this week?)<\/p>\n
May 9th, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nathan, Mommy and Daddy are going to be really busy with the new baby . . . you better learn how to take care of yourself.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 16th, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, what is that?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a phone book.\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Does it ring?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 18th, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Daddy, you know better than to get water in my ears!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 20th, 2004
\nOur homeschooling group went on a tour of the local police station. When we were shown the emergency command and control room (which is mostly used for tornadoes), Simon asked the police officer: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If this room is for planning in emergencies, why does it have a wall full of windows?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
May 24th, 2004
\nJulie named all of the friends that were going swimming with us, including Brooke, who just turned one.
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But Brooke can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t swim!\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s OK. Her mom will be there.\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll teach her how. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll just tell her to pump her legs and head way out in the deep water.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
June 19th, 2004
\nNathan, who is in a terrible mood, explaining to the woman at the portrait studio why she can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t take his picture: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I have poison on my face and it will get on your camera.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
June 23rd, 2004
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What shape did Daddy cut my toast into?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Um, well, it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really make a shape.\u00e2\u20ac?
\nSimon, after some silent contemplation: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I know! It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the Sydney Opera House!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
June 28th, 2004
\nNathan wants to get up; Julie knows he hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t napped yet.
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But Nathan, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s only been forty minutes!\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But I sleeped faster.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
July 4th, 2004
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153So why did they need to go back to Jerusalem to get the brass plates?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Because they had nothing to eat dinner off of.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
July 9th, 2004
\nSimon lost his first tooth.<\/p>\n
July 17th, 2004
\nNathan, as the custard is served: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Me first! Me first!\u00e2\u20ac?
\nDerrick: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What kind of talk is that?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Gladiator talk!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
August 2nd, 2004
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you think my butt part is cute?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
August 9th, 2004
\nNathan in rare form at the swimming pool:
\n(1) Nathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Can we swim in the fountain?\u00e2\u20ac?
\nJulie: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No. See that sign? It says \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcNo swimming or playing in the fountain.\u00e2\u20ac?
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s take the sign down.\u00e2\u20ac?
\n(2) Nathan, on getting a good look at Julie in her maternity bathing suit: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, you look like a big pink beach ball!\u00e2\u20ac?
\n(3) Nathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why is there no lifeguard here protecting the children?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
August 11th, 2004
\nJulie complimented Simon on making his bed and arranging his journal and comic book so nicely on the top of the bed.
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, I wanted to try a new look.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
August 20th, 2004:
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, there are a lot of things in this world that seem impossible, like dry ice and fried ice cream.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
August 31st, 2004:
\nNathan, noticing the peeling skin on Julie\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s foot: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mommy, are you molting?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
September 4th, 2004:
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Daddy, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want you to leave this house because you might be eaten by a cyclops.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
September 8th, 2004:
\nNathan, not quietly, at the grocery store: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wow, that guy sure is fat.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
September 28th, 2004:
\nNathan: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m half baseball player and half gladiator.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
October 7th, 2004:
\nBy standing in the back of the church and screaming \u00e2\u20ac\u0153NO\u00e2\u20ac? at the top of his lungs, Nathan continued a long family tradition (Julie in 1977 at the Millers\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 wedding and Douglas in 1996 at Julie and Derrick\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wedding) of refusing to walk down the aisle. Later, when asked why he wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t walk, he said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I forgot.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
October 10th, 2004:
\nSimon: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mom, what if I taught the baby how to say \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcantidisestablishmentarianism\u00e2\u20ac\u2122? He would be famous!\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What I’m not good at is keeping a journal. What I am good at is writing down in my planner the funny things that my kids say and then printing them up to put in our Christmas card each year:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corn"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1650","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1650"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1650\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timesandseasons.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}