This year, Simon turned eleven, Nathan turned eight, Truman turned five, and Julie turned old.<\/p>\n
December 6th
\nNathan: “Does Rudolph’s red nose have anything to do with alcoholism?”<\/p>\n
December 7th
\nTruman: “Mom, do you want to know something I don’t like about my body?”
\nJulie: “What don’t you like about your body?” “I don’t like using the bathroom because it takes up part of my fun time.”<\/p>\n
December 14th
\nNathan’s report on the live nativity he went to: “And they taxed us! So I taxed their dignity! You know how the centurions have those brushes on their helmets? I went up to one and said that the inn wanted its broom back. And then I tap danced.”<\/p>\n
Julie: “What is that twisted piece of metal?”
\nNathan: “Modern art. Modern art is junk.”<\/p>\n
January 4
\nTruman to Julie: “I think we should marry.”<\/p>\n
January 4th
\nTruman: “Two of Santa’s reindeer are hampster and darling.”<\/p>\n
January 7th
\nJulie and Nathan did a massive and much-needed cleaning cleaning of Nathan’s room.
\nMuch later that night . . .
\nNathan: “Dad, I can’t sleep.”
\nDerrick: “Why?”
\nNathan: “My room doesn’t feel right.”<\/p>\n
January 14th
\n“Simon hung a grenade from his ceiling. If you stand under it, he gets to punch you. It’s like reverse mistletoe!”<\/p>\n
January 20th
\nNathan cut off his eyelashes.<\/p>\n
January 21st
\nTruman: “I had a vision of candy and soda and donuts.”<\/p>\n
January 23rd
\nNathan, running to catch up with Julie in a store: “Sorry I fell behind; I was hypnotized by the BB guns.”<\/p>\n
Janaury 26th
\nNathan, at the ice skating rink: “I hate this! [sob] I want my money back!”
\nTwenty minutes later: “I love this! When can we come again?”<\/p>\n
February 4th
\nTruman: “Nathan, what was my first swear word? Oh, I remember, it was ‘dammit.'”<\/p>\n
February 13th
\nNathan: “Mom, can I have a $145 dollar raise in my allowance?”<\/p>\n
February 24th
\nTruman, handing Julie the parmesan and garlic popcorn seasoning: “I want Bad Breath Flavor.”<\/p>\n
February 28th
\nTruman: “Can the weather decide when it wants to be hot or cold?”<\/p>\n
Nathan: “The horror! There’s only one junk food cereal left and it isn’t even that junky!”<\/p>\n
June 19th
\nSimon: “I have telekinesis, but I’m too lazy to use it.”<\/p>\n
June 24th
\nNathan: “If I told a really funny joke, would God laugh?”<\/p>\n
June 26th
\nNathan, in the middle of his math lesson: “I think I am having a nervous breakdown.”<\/p>\n
July 9th
\nJulie explains Chik-fil-A’s “Dress Like a Cow Day.”
\nSimon: “So let me get this straight . . . a free sandwich, free soda, and free fries . . . in exchange for your dignity.”<\/p>\n
July 12th
\nNathan: “I have a plan for world peace, but I’ll need a thousand dollar grant.”<\/p>\n
July 24th
\nSimon: “I am happy.”
\nJulie: “I would not have expected those words out of the mouth of someone washing dishes.”
\nSimon: “It is because I have fulfilled my life’s ambition.”
\nJulie: “Oh?”
\nSimon: “I burped the entire alphabet.”<\/p>\n
Truman says: “Can I say ‘gee whiz’? Is that appropriate?”<\/p>\n
July 25th
\nNathan to Truman: “Your breath could stun a yak.”<\/p>\n
August 7th
\nJulie wishes that just once she could hug Nathan without him yelping in a strangled voice, “medic!”<\/p>\n
August 16th:
\nTruman to Julie, “Is it OK if I call you disco dude?”<\/p>\n
August 25th
\nNathan: “Recent scientific discoveries have shown that I do not have an inner child. I have an inner devil.”<\/p>\n
September 7th
\nNathan: “IKEA is my favorite place to get food. They have excellent macaroni and cheese and their Dr. Pepper has a cherry-ish hint.”<\/p>\n
September 8th
\nTruman: “Mom, can you give me a buttermilk bath like they did Wilbur?”<\/p>\n
September 12th
\nSimon: “There’s a fine line between difficult and funny and some day I am going to find it.”<\/p>\n
September 20th
\nNathan: “Is it against our religion to be encased in ice?”<\/p>\n
September 29th
\nJulie: “Your next spelling word is ‘marriage.'”
\nWhat Simon wrote: “EVIL”<\/p>\n
September 30th
\nSimon’s explanation for not correcting the oral usage errors in his grammar assignment: “Maybe they’re hillbillies.”<\/p>\n
October 5th
\nTruman: “Mom, you are my friend, but if zombies start to chase us, I’m going to trip you.”<\/p>\n
October 7th
\nWe were talking with our kids about issues of trust, attachment, and discipline with foster children. Nathan says, “They should have a system for families like Amazon ratings and so if the kid finds out it is a five-star family, then they know that they can trust them.”<\/p>\n
November 16th
\nTruman: “Kissing is disgusting. It’s just slobbering on people’s cheeks.”<\/p>\n
November 23rd
\nJulie sits on Simon in order to have a chance to hug him. Simon: “Argh! Half a ton of pure mom!”<\/p>\n
December 1st
\nFor some reason the Wii wouldn’t work. Nathan calls Derrick at the office and says, “Dad! I need your help! My life has no meaning!” Unfortunately, D couldn’t diagnose it over the phone. Nathan hangs up, looking frantic, and says, “I’m going to have to start quoting Hamlet!”<\/p>\n