I am not Adam and it’s possible I still don’t get grace, but maybe this can help:

I think that one easy problem to get into (don’t know if it applies to you, but it was something that, when I figured it out, helped me get to this perspective) is that when we talk about “the law” in a Romans/Pauline sense, it’s not just talking about particular systems of commandments espoused by certain religious denominations. So it’s not just talking about the kosher or the Law of Chastity or the Word of Wisdom (which many people obviously don’t find to be valid). As a result, “sin” also has to be much broader than a violation of these particular rules. (This is important, as Paul talks about a certain manifestation of sin as arising precisely from following the law…but in an incorrect way.)

Rather, the “law” is meant to be anything that we hold ourselves up to, or hold anyone up to. For me, I am a bit of a perfectionist at school and work. I didn’t assign a moral dimension to it, but I realized recently that that perfectionism still has the relevant qualities of “law” and an incorrect interaction with it is still a manifestation of sin.

So, what is that incorrect interaction?

Sin manifests in my story that my or others’ worths are based in how well they adhere to the law — in this case, my and others’ worths are based in how educated or how competent they are in certain educational and professional domains. To this extent, I view myself as only deserving of certain things (recognition? reward? respect?) based on my earning them through adherence to this law (e.g., being competent at my job, being sufficiently educated, etc.,) But I also view others through this same dimension in a way: if someone isn’t competent at their job (whatever that is), I view them less highly. Whether their job is being a restaurant waiter or anything else, if I witness what I view as their incompetence, I am annoyed or upset at their incompetence.

But grace is a gift, in the sense that it is unearned, unwarranted, undeserved. My “sin” is a rejection of grace in that it rejects the unearned, rejects the unwarranted, rejects the undeserved. For example, when I view my or others’ worths in how educated or competent I/we/they are, I am rejecting the fact that my intelligence is unearned. My genes? Unearned. I was thrown into this body, with these parents. My opportunities? Unwarranted. If I grew up in a different time or different location, things could be different. Even my ability to work hard (and my actually going through with that)? Undeserved. There is no way that I can say that I deserved the ability to be able to work hard (even if I try to argue that I had to make choices to actually do that, make choices to reject other things, defer gratification, whatever, in order to study, prepare, etc.,)

(P.S., this is basically what Paul is talking about when he says the law can sell us into sin. Because when we see the law as a way to talk about people getting what they *deserve* or what they *earn*, then we are rejecting the givenness…the gift-ness of it.)

So, when Paul says that the law is written on everyone’s hearts, I don’t see of this as meaning that a particular understanding of morality or God is written on everyone’s hearts…but rather that everyone has — in some way, shape, or fashion — some system of rules and some penchant to judge based on adherence to those rules.

I think that masochism is probably a little more complicated, but remember that if someone views pain as pleasure, that is still pleasure. There are definitely rules about safe words, rules about consent, etc., etc., in those sorts of communities. It’s not necessarily anything goes. So I don’t think that would establish that someone doesn’t believe in disease — rather, that would be an example of someone who may very well believe in disease, but doesn’t believe a particular something should be considered a disease.

Is grace opposed to action? With grace, we should be grateful, we should be grace-ful, we should be gracious. So, we should follow the law not because it’s how we “earn” stuff, but because we recognize it as a gift and we appreciate that gift. We love our fellow man as ourselves not because it is a commandment or because this is how we “deserve” heaven or whatever, but because we recognize that as we have been given much, we too must give — and as our gifts were freely given, we should freely give to others.

If you are suggesting someone who never judges himself or others under *any* metric, who never judges who has “earned” or who is “deserving” (and, conversely, who has not earned/who is not deserving) in *any* way…then I would say that this person probably does not need grace explained to them, because they are already living gracefully.

Thanks for the explanation. But why would one feel the need to forgive someone? Doesn’t that still presume they can sin?

What if one has never experienced the desire for someone to be apologized to? Restitution yes, but apology no. Does grace bring about it’s own definition?

If one sees no value in relationships does grave create the desire for relationships?

Some of this seems to depend on the term perfect also. Isn’t a bit chicken and egg also where to know what perfect is one must know what a sin is?

Is Adam saying that grace allows one to understand that there was a fall?

In your terms how would one explain health to someone who didn’t believe in disease? Can masochists want grace?

This may seem abstract and absurd but 50 shades of gray sold a lot of books. How does one explain grace to people who experience pain as pleasurable?

Sin is how to live unhealthily. To separate us from the relationships we value most. When we horriblize the behavior of our spouse, we inflate her faults and minimize her virtues. We also separate ourselves from close, intimate, fulfilling love.

Grace is the universal possibility of forgiveness. That your wife can see the real you and be willing to forgive you. That I can change my heart and behavior and by degrees who I am. So that I can live more fulfilling. So that I can pay it forward to help others to live wholeheartedly.

If you are familiar with any of the following resources, the above may be easier to understand.

http://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/10-guideposts-for-wholehearted-living-by-dr-brene-brown/

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

http://www.amazon.com/Bonds-That-Make-Free-Relationships/dp/1573459194

http://richalger.blogspot.com/2013/11/listening-to-shame.html

http://richalger.blogspot.com/2013/11/listening-to-shame.html