Comments on: True Adventures in Turning the Other Cheek, Pt. Two

By: patricia k.

patricia k. — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:56:23 +0000

As I lay abed this morning, waking to the world, turning over once more in my mind the gift this experience has proven to be, I realized that I neglected in all the language I’ve set down here to include one very important thought:

For the gorgeous unknown of the adventure;
For the wilderness of possibilities rising up to a broken road;
For the lengthening sigh of love, the deeper-drawn breath to support it,
Quick turns of heart, unlooked for arousals of mind;
For the widening of prayer’s eye;

For the unbounded blessing of encounter,
Thank you, Sister S, whomever and wherever you are.

By: patricia k.

patricia k. — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:14:40 +0000

Jonovitch,

We’re no longer with that company. We make a modest living as Internet merchants. My husband chose that route so he could be at hand to help with M’s care–a 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year job–rather than leaving me to fend for myself. Blessings on him for that. Otherwise, my circumstances would keep me quite, um, hemmed in.

Re: agency vs. behavior modification–let me think about that. I’m wrapping up a difficult semester and will be busy for the next while. I do have other posts here at T&S about M, some of which might give you a few ideas. The formatting switch muddied them up and I haven’t gone in to pick out all the strange fonts, so they can be hard to read.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep your questions in mind.

By: patricia k.

patricia k. — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:29:42 +0000

Mose,

Thank you for reading. This experience did spark some insight into Jesus’ advice on how to treat with “enemies.” Not that any of the actors in this drama were enemies.

All these years I’d been thinking of turning the other cheek as an act of forebearance–not doing something bad back to someone who did something bad to you, and that’s all. The new insight–brand new, still wet behind the ears–is that turning the other cheek is actually full engagement (as far as you are able to achieve it) with the other involved, in winding as deeply into relation with all involved as you can.

Hence, “full-bodied.”

Of course, I’m not silly enough to think this insight gets me far in crossing the distance between Jesus and myself. It’s just a new and exciting level of belief.

By: Jonovitch

Jonovitch — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:42:48 +0000

Patricia, I am also very interested in your agency vs. behavior modification methods. Can you add me to that conversation? My email is jonovitch at gmail dot com. Or perhaps another public post on that subject?

I find myself actively reminding myself to give my energetic 5-year-old boy chances to make real decisions, rather than trying to manipulate him into doing what I want. Not always easy.

BTW, I loved this story and the conclusion, but whatever happened to the company? your husband’s job? your search for employment? How did your family end up surviving?

Jon

By: Ol' Man Mose

Ol' Man Mose — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:03:19 +0000

Bravo Patricia K.
Because of your willingness to “submit”, or “turn the other cheek”, you now have an additional and priceless insight into the magnificent and divine character of the Savior. He being totally innocent, was abused and betrayed well beyond anything we can fathom, not only by strangers but by those who knew Him best. “Blessed are they who are persecuted . . . .” I think this unique blessing somehow comes to some of us through a similar hands on experience, hopefully resulting in an increased understanding of His divine ordeal and thus His eternal character.

By: patricia k.

patricia k. — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:18:20 +0000

Great, Tatiana! Internet is spotty in my area this weekend; I’ll be in touch ASAP.

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:00:06 +0000

I love to continue this discussion by email, if you have time. thetatiana AT gmail DOT com. I also want to know more about how you stimulated agency in your child.

By: Patricia Karamesines

Patricia Karamesines — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:41:40 +0000

Thank you very much for reading the story, Juliann.

By: Juliann

Juliann — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:36:56 +0000

Patricia, I am so glad I dropped by. This is such a beautifully crafted tale told with such care and kindness. Thank you for having the courage to tell it despite some predictably less than kind responses.

By: Crick

Crick — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:09:14 +0000

Here is my last volley for a story I never thought would create a debate (but the most profound always do):

I think the gossip charge ultimately fails for a different reason, that Patricia is telling this story 17.5 years after the fact and has inserted letters for names. If I’m wrong and it is gossip, it is just as much gossip about the Bishop as Sister S. Doesn’t he turn out looking the worst here?

I don’t see any other appropriate way for telling this story then recounting the perceptions of the RS sisters about Sister S. Are we to honestly believe that this Bishop was just arbitrary and capricious? If such things were more common, then Raymond’s appeal’s process would be right 100% of the time. And yet usually human actions are really re-actions and our empathy expounds when we learn what the original actions were. I am sure that Sister S has a compelling story, but this isn’t her story, its Patricia’s. Yes, plenty have written on world hunger and Sister S is free to weigh in any time she likes.

I believe in science, but where intrapersonal relationships are concerned, perceptions and anecdotal evidence are as good as its going to get. I trust that Patricia’s account (but saying that is in no way detrimental to the validity of the perceptions of others in the story).