That said, I think we often have to work at being kind to others. Sure, many people don’t deserve it, but we have to remind ourselves of how we would like to be treated. The Holy Spirit has often clobbered me with the need to help someone. I certainly didn’t think of it myself.

I don’t, however, have any problem with President Monson’s use of personal examples from his life to teach others the nature of service. When you are a trying to teach a principle, you often resort to your own experiences.

As for turning the other cheek, many Christians have the wrong idea. Jesus didn’t mince words and he didn’t just let people best him. He called Herod an “old fox” and he trapped those who laid snares for him, such as in the case of the adulteress “cast the first stone” and in the case of taxes — “render unto Caesar.”

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean giving a mild response. It means giving the right response. Should we speak out for what’s right? Yes. Should we go with what the Lord said instead of spout the sophistries of men? Absolutely. Should we offer a fake apology to get the upper hand? No. The Lord never did any such thing.

It all boils down to this: throw out the psychology and just look at how the Lord actually handles things. This requires reading the entire Bible, at a minimum, and reading it for yourself, not just going by hearsay. I can’t tell you how many things that are attributed to Christ which are exactly contrary to what he really did and what he really wants.

So the Lord is forgiving? Yes, if people repent. That’s a key ingredient. Running around vocally forgiving people is just plain annoying. If you’re prone to it, cut it out. The Lord is in charge of forgiving. Just give it over to him and let him tell you how to handle it.

“Sorry: apology is probably the wrong word. “Forgiveness” is probably better.”

Yes. It ranks right up there with “Well, if you thought what I did was offensive, then I apologize.”

On the “forgiveness” front . . .

My wife and I both spent quite a few years in singles wards before we married. About four months after our wedding we dropped into our former ward to attend sacrament meeting. While I was speaking with a friend a few feet away, a man who had made numerous unsuccessful plays for my wife walked up to her and, without preamble, solemnly proclaimed “I’ve forgiven you.” Stunned, my wife stammered, “Er, thanks. I forgive you as well.” The fellow then walked away without further comment.

Awesome! It’s the kind of natural passive-aggressiveness no amount of training could ever hope to match.

As a leader, he recognizes that, in the words of President Hinckley, “[his] role is to stand as an example before the people”.

I believe the traits of being unconsciously Christian include not only avoiding “tooting your own horn” but also to not suspect others’ good deeds or their retelling of them to be horn tooting either. Of course, sometimes it’s egregious and some people seem programmed to brag, but I have never felt uncomfortable about President Monson’s stories, which I feel are an important part of his ministry and an example of what we ought to be doing.

I try to do a Christ-like act out of love for another person, because I am trying to love them like Christ does, but when I analyze it, the truth is I am prideful and want to seem a bit holier than thou. Would it be better not to do the kind act at all because I know I have pride, which I am incapable of overcoming at this point in my life?

It seems to me that it all comes back to doing charitable and kind things, acting in charitable and kind ways, even if you are not doing it for motives that are 100 percent pure.