I was not there and I am not a evangelical Pastor, but it might have gone something like this.

P: Now, lets get down to business. Do you realize that you are a sinner?
M: Yes, (gives some examples).
P: Do you believe Jesus died for your sins on the cross?
M: Yes.
P: Are you willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior?
M: Yes.
P: Do you believe Jesus Christ rose up from the grave and is alive today and can change your life?
M:Yes. of course.
P: Are you willing to allow Him to wash away your sins in His Blood and for His Spirit to come into your heart and change your life and thereby be rid of all of your sins?
M: Yes. Yes, I would.
P: Then let us pray together and you do just that.
M: (Prays and reiterates the ideas above with sincerity and depth of feeling).
P: Are you going to study the Bible and find a Bible-based church community to help you live your life for Christ?
M: Yes, and Yes (thinking his LDS ward does that).
P: Are you willing to assume the title of Christian and not be ashamed of Him and tell others about His saving grace?
M: Yes, (thinking isn’t that pretty much what full-time LDS missionaries are supposed to do?)
P: Not all churches require this, but I find that submitting to baptism as a outward demonstration of an inward change of heart is important. Would you be willing to do this?
M: Yes, I already have, when I was 8 years old.
…(discussion about whether his LDS baptism is valid or not)….

I am somewhat of a Mormon maverick often in the opposite direction as most evangelicals. I have had many frank discussions with evangelical Pastors and although they say you can never really tell what is in a person’s heart; by everything I say I believe and also by my life choices, they find that I meet minimal requirements to be a saved Christian. One described it as being “washed in the blood” in addition to being “washed in the water.”

We have to get over suspicions based on ignorance and semantic differences which are not really differences at all. I have a long list of what is for evangelicals heretical beliefs on important subjects that I acquired from my Mormon background. But we are very close to the same place on the most basic salvation doctrine.

One thing that quickly gets us into trouble is our exclusiveness, the idea that we are absolutely right and everyone else is wrong. Not only right, but also exclusively authorized. We tell other religious people that even if you happen to be conceptionally correct, you have no right to perform any essential rituals or do anything except grope in the darkness until we convert you. Then we wonder why our ideas are not respected when we have exhibited little respect for theirs. Doctrine does matter to evangelicals, but the cocky certainity that we have all the answers and all the authority and this makes us the best is another thing. I believe there is much that we Mormons could borrow and learn from comtemporary evangelicals.

1. I knew a lady back in the 1980’s who was in her 90’s and once a rock of the ward in Biloxi MS. Her story as I recall was that her husband came down there from Utah with the military and married her but she didn’t join the church. As the branch grew into a ward, he had many leadership assignments and she helped him, becoming fully integrated into the Mormon tribe. She became a Primary president and then YW leader as she raised their children. New people moved in and eventually most ward members never realized she was not a baptized member. At a stake conference, Elder Bruce R. McKonkie called on the wives of the Stake Presidency to speak extemporaneously and to relate their conversion and baptism stories. She was first and she stunned the audience with her open acknowledgement that she had never been baptized. Bruce R. could not let that pass and he hopped up next to her at the pulpit. He was pretty tall, towering over her thin 5 foot frame. He challenged her to gain a testimony and be ready for baptism in 30 days. She countered that she had already gone through the motions of all of that. But she was willing to be baptized that very day if he was willing to perform the ordinance himself. How could he refuse, even though he had not brought any extra clothing? They had a hard time finding a pair of white pants long enough for him, but after the conference meetings they had a baptism. Then Bruce R. went to her house and ate dinner dressed in her husband’s bathrobe while she washed and dried his white shirt and garments before he got on the plane for the long flight back to Utah.

2. A young Mormon boy fell in love with an evangelical girl from South Georgia. She was willing to marry him as long as he convinced her young Pastor that he had been saved and was a good Christian. He went to the interview/interrogation and said whatever he had to say to impress the Pastor and almost all of it sincerely. The only problem seemed to be that the Pastor did not recognize his Mormon baptism as valid. The girl suggested that the Pastor could re-baptize him that afternoon down in the river behind the church. It was raining hard and he was going to get wet walking her home anyway. When the Mormon boy came up out of the water, he immediately asked the Pastor a question. Since this congregation of evangelicals practiced re-baptism every summer and it didn’t really matter who did the baptizing and he was about as clean and right with God as he was ever going to be, would the Pastor mind if the Mormon boy re-baptized him? The girl thought this was an excellent idea and not wishing to offend her (and thereby miss out on earning his fee when he later married them) the Pastor allowed the Mormon boy, who held the office of a Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood, to baptize him. Celestial bean counters are going to have fun sorting that one out.

3. My then 11 year old daughter met a girl in the Metro orchestra whose mother was inactive LDS and lived near us. The orchestra played on Sunday afternoon and it was convenient to carpool with each other. Soon the two girls were going to church before rehearsals together. Within a few weeks the new girl was fully integrated into our ward. Her father was the agnostic son of an evangelical minister and would not allow his children to join any church until they were adults. So she was not baptized, but you would never know it listening to her talks in Sacrament meeting or her comments in class. A year later my daughter requested that I have the honor of doing youth baptism in the temple with her. That was a highlight for my daughter and brought back vivid memories of her own baptism only 4 short years before. Then I was stunned to see the little girl from orchestra dressed in white stepping down into the font with me. I was certain she had not been baptized herself and yet was allowed to do it by proxy for someone in the spirit world. Later I asked my daughter if her friend had been baptized while we were away or something and she said no. But the Bishop had made a “little mistake” giving her a recommend. The Bishop was the founder and chief executive of a prosperous business and not prone to “little mistakes” of this magnitude. I think he did it intentionally because he felt like it was the right thing to do. (Perhaps he heard the girls singing my daughter’s parody of a favorite hymn she called “We Thank Thee Oh God for the Handbook.” Perhaps not.) Later this family moved away but when the girl was 15 she informed my daughter digitally that her father converted to Mormonism and agreed to be baptized. Then he was given the Priesthood at the water’s edge and allowed to baptize all of his children. This story does not have a good ending. I ran into the mother a few months ago. She and the younger girls in the family were moving back to the area. They had divorced and their boy was staying with his dad who had gone back to an evangelical church. The little girl in the orchestra was accepted into a prestigious college and was one of only a handful of active LDS students on the campus, destined to marry outside the faith like her mother, in all probability.

I think you will do well in besting the challenges ahead of you and your family and I wish you the best, Mrs. Bridget Jack Meyers.

Bridget, haven’t you been listening to your Evangelical co-religionists? According to them, we Mormons don’t believe in Christ at all because, according to them, we believe in a “different” Christ. This stems from Mormons’ belief in the Jesus Christ of the New Testament, as opposed to the Evangelical belief in the Jesus Christ of the creeds (the One Substance Trinity).

I don’t think you have a solid case that Evangelicals are going to be fine with your daughter simultaneously being a Mormon because they’re going to think the same about her that they think about me and my co-religionists — they will claim that her belief in Christ on her “Mormon” Sundays isn’t actually belief in Christ at all.

Would there be anyway possible to find a way to harmoniously “finesse” the intricacies of you and your husband’s theological differences? Eg Mormons don’t have to get baptised at 8; evangelicals don’t have to be baptised in a specific congregation. Therefore, raise your child evangelical Mormon — through one baptism that both parents would hold as valid.

You believe a child should wait until s/he is particularly moved to accept Christ, so do go ahead and allow hi/r to do so. Should you believe your husband’s beliefs sufficient enough for him to be saved, allow him to baptise your child at that point in a Mormon baptism (which in your mind would be a “Mormon/evangelical” baptism); and tell you pastor that your child has recieved hi/r Christian baptism at the hand of her father (since you’d already checked out, years before, your pastor’s take on just such an eventuality, having planned ahead).

I don’t mean to imply that I agree with her on all counts. But to take the withering responses posted here is commendable. Not that there has been any rancor. But to expose ones personal life in this way and allow others to examine it so openly is hard enough. She’s taken it s step further by doing so with grace. Well done.

One comment regarding children of interfaith couples. I think may here are confusing children from NONCOMMITTTED interfaith families with Mrs. Meyers child. Obviously both parents in this relationship are committed. So in my opinion nearly all bets are off. I have in my church experience almost no exposure to such a family.

Your journey will be an interesting one. I don’t mean to treat you like a spiritual lab rat, but I do hope you’ll continue to inform and share as you have here. Thanks so much.

FYI, I am an active, believing LDS. I guess I just find this story so compelling because I see a need for the LDS to learn to accept a wider spectrum of believers in our midst. At the same time we need to do so without compromise of beliefs. It’s culture I am completely willing to compromise on.

Regarding people asking me why I’m not Mormon, I’d like to quote something Elder M. Russell Ballard said at the October 2001 General Conference in a talk called “Doctrine of Inclusion.” He said (emphasis mine):

I believe it would be good if we eliminated a couple of phrases from our vocabulary: “nonmember” and “non-Mormon.” Such phrases can be demeaning and even belittling. Personally, I don’t consider myself to be a “non-Catholic” or a “non-Jew.” I am a Christian. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That is how I prefer to be identified—for who and what I am, as opposed to being identified for what I am not. Let us extend that same courtesy to those who live among us. If a collective description is needed, then “neighbors” seems to work well in most cases.

Now I don’t really mind being identified as a non-Mormon in certain contexts. I mean, my BYU tuition bill always said “Non-LDS Tuition,” not “Neighbor Tuition.” :P And I don’t at all mind that Mormons have an interest in converting me; you’re correct, evangelicals have the same interest in converting Mormons.

I do mind when people ask why I’m “not Mormon,” because I’m not a “not Mormon;” I’m an evangelical Christian. I don’t think anyone at my church has ever asked my husband why he’s “not evangelical” or “not Christian” or “not a believer.” Evangelicals don’t really have the mindset that ours is the only correct way to follow Christ. We may think it’s the best way, but we’re generally content to let our Catholic, Greek Orthodox, and mainline Protestant brothers and sisters be. We have other approaches to evangelism than “Why aren’t you Christian?”

Besides, some Mormons think I’m doing exactly what God wants me to do right now and don’t want to convert me. Haven’t you heard of “The Jack Clause“?

Regarding exclusivity and membership, this is just one of those differences between Mormons and evangelicals. In evangelical churches, local church membership usually doesn’t confer any ritual or participatory benefits. Baptism and the Lord’s supper are offered to all believers in Christ apart from membership, and all youth services and projects are open to the youth regardless of membership. Kids can even go on mission trips to other countries without being members of the local church—I did it when I was 16.

Now I’m not actually saying Mormon exclusivity is bad in itself. I just think that it calls for some adaptation where an interfaith family is concerned, either by allowing for a more ecumenical interpretation of those baptism covenants or by the local leadership doing their best to make the child feel included in spite of being unable to participate in ritual.

So should we let everyone get married in the temple so they won’t be tempted to fake conversion so they’ll have an awesome wedding photo?

You mean the photo outside the temple, where everyone is allowed? I’m pretty sure non-members can get one of those if they really want to. When I was getting married, I was sorely tempted to go to an LDS temple and have a photo taken of me and Paul in our wedding get-up as a gag. Maybe at our 10-year vow renewals…

But will your church let me preach a sermon every Sunday? No?

I’m not sure I see your point here, Alison. Mormons don’t let non-members preach sermons “every Sunday,” either.

———————————————-

One thought does occur to me though: you won’t find evangelicals excluding a child from a Mormon-Evangelical interfaith household because belief in Christ is all that we’re asking to participate in our rituals. Mormons are at somewhat of a disadvantage because they’re essentially asking for belief in Christ and belief in Joseph Smith.

However, if we were talking about a Jewish-Christian household, and a child who believed in YHWH but was unsure of her belief in Christ, then we’d probably see some exclusion. I can’t imagine a child who doesn’t have faith in Christ being given a believer’s baptism or allowed to take communion.

So with that analogy, I can see where the people who think dual baptism is a terrible idea are coming from.

I’m told that there are caveats wherein the family can wait longer if they don’t feel the child is ready, but I have never seen an LDS family take advantage of these caveats.

My bishop and his wife in Boca (and our dear friends) did this. Their oldest son (same age as my oldest daughter) wanted to go to a bunch of different churches before he decided. So he was a number of months past his birthday when he wanted to be baptized.

I hope you weren’t serious with the

(1) it will encourage her to make a fake conversion to Mormonism for social reasons, or (2) it will drive her away from future consideration of the LDS church—are either of those what the church wants?

It’s making me squirmy.

There are “perks” to membership. Just like I got to get married in what my non-LDS Boca friends called “the castle” for free. Oh, except that it cost 10% of my income for life plus a whole lotta other stuff. So should we let everyone get married in the temple so they won’t be tempted to fake conversion so they’ll have an awesome wedding photo?

Or, to your other complaint, we should remove exclusivity in everything because it might drive people away?

After all, the evangelicals won’t be telling her that she has to come exclusively to their church or else she doesn’t get to come minister to the homeless.

I assume that’s because there aren’t any particular requirements for such ministry, just as there aren’t for working at the humanitarian center or the cannery. Right?

But will your church let me preach a sermon every Sunday? No? Well! You’re just encouraging me to pretend to believe as you! Or, no, you’re just driving me away!

Christ was into esoteric teachings, too. :)

To me, it’s much less about “she can’t go on temple trips” (which, yea, are a really big, fun, stinkin’ deal in some places), but about integrity.

I don’t know what baptism means in your church, but in the LDS church it involves particular covenants. I realize you probably know that already, but I don’t see how you can suggest to your daughter that she would/could/should/might make those particular covenants in the LDS church and then make some other commitment elsewhere. It seems very likely that they are contradictory.

Does it keep tabs on when other local churches in the area are performing baptisms?

You can’t just show up at any old stake baptism and get in line. :)

But my initial thought came upon reading this:

We’ve gotten a little tired of well-meaning, missionary-minded Latter-day Saints asking us why I’m not Mormon—as though “Mormon” is the correct answer and I’m somehow deficient for having missed it…

This struck me as a bit disingenuous. Since I always love reading your stuff, as you know, I think I must have misread. Of course believing Mormons believe it’s “the correct answer.” And, or course again, they think you are missing something to have missed it. To me this is obvious and to be expected, isn’t it?

Don’t you, for example, think you have “the truth” or at least “more truth” than Mormons? (I’m hard-pressed to think why you would belong to a church or ideology that you thought had less truth.) And don’t you think Mormons are missing something?

FWIW, every evangelical Christian I ever met thought I was deficient for being a Mormon and–the ones that liked me–wanted to get me saved right quick. How Christian would it be to think someone is missing the salvational picture and NOT want them to find “the correct answer”? :)

I haven’t read through the comments completely yet, but I can affirm anecdotally that the missionaries are looking for a pretty firm affirmation of JS as prophet and TSM as the current prophet, seer, and revelator. My husband is considering baptism, but has for about 9 months gotten hung up on his weak testimony of JS. Otherwise, he can answer all the other baptismal questions in the affirmative (except the one that is supposed to be answered in the negative). The missionaries have been pretty clear he needs to feel like he has a testimony of JS before they’ll proceed with baptism.

I’m pretty sure this is not the case with every situation, though.