Much of any truly philosophical analysis of manners tends to focus on one pole, that of morality/ethics. However, I think the other pole, that of symbolic social custom, is equally important.

For example (again, sorry!) dress — specifically, menswear: What is the purpose of wearing a necktie? It’s real purpose IMO was to cover up the front fasteners on a shirt. (As I’ve deduced from having read somewhere that it was men’s military blouses that were the first to fasten up the front — since a gentleman in the field would have no family member or valet along to fasten him up the back. Therefore, once such shirts become the norm among men generally, to avoid “tacky” -ness ((get it?)) of showing off these fasteners now at the front, a gentleman would finish off his ensemble with a scarf about his neck(?)) But what it really signifies is something drenched in symbolic custom. It means — formality.

Sometime symbolic customs supply boundaries necessary for the maintanance of communities. Othertimes they are merely expectations.

”Eg” wrt boundaries (A) certain requirements must be met in order to claim the rights and responsibilities of US citizenship; and (B) baptism is required for entrance into many Christian churches.

“When did your family become US ‘citizens’?”

“I was born in the States in ’56; my wife became naturalized in the mid-’90s.”

“How did she do that?”

“She held up her right hand and said some words. Then I’m pretty sure somebody entered her name upon some official register somewhere.”

“Oh, I see. And is your family ‘Christian’?”

“Well, we have been formally recognized as ones who have been symbolically washed and reborn into our acceptance of the customs and fellowship within the community of believers in Christ.”

“Can you tell me something about your practices as a Christian?”

“Well, on Sunday morning we both get up, she gets ready and puts on a dress, I put on a white shirt and a necktie….”

“Wow, all that is required?”

“No, not really. But it is a custom genearlly in my Latter-day Saint community. But, I think someone could be a fully straightlaced Mormon in practice and/or one who’s very orthodox in belief and go to church dressed in bluejeans and a teeshirt, I’m pretty sure. And, someone could be at church in a fine suit and be a real scoundrel and/or extremely heterodox in belief, on the other hand, as well.”

- – -

FROM the WPædia article “Tzniut”: “[... ...] Style of dress involves cultural considerations distinct from religious requirements. There are many Conservative and Reform synagogues in which suits and ties are socially expected, while there are many Orthodox synagogues (especially in Israel) where dress, while meeting religious modesty requirements, is quite casual. [... ...]”

Would this be because the folks at some synagogues consider formal attire a marker of respect (dressing at one’s religious services as one would in one’s culture to meet a dignitary)? Whereas others see a come-as-you-are type thing as more egalitarian, more — “class-less”?

- – -

A GUEST blogpost by Richard Florida at Andrew Sullivan’s blog today starts: “Why Class Still Matters. Class is a word that elicits strong, and sometimes strange, reactions from many Americans. Once a powerful construct understanding economies and societies, class has been all but banished from the lexicon of social scientists and from the public conversation.”

Also, I instinctively recoil anytime I hear the word “breeding” used in any context involving humans.

We talk constantly about not hurting others through our actions and words, and, yes, we even talk about not chewing with our mouths open and about answering the phone politely (not “yeah?”). We try to engage in “polite conversation” at the dinner table and mom (me) will probably point it out if one of us has been talking about Pokemon for ten straight minutes or some such thing.

It seems to me that raising mannerly children means I have to determine what is and what is not appropriate. That makes me critical, doesn’t it? The most unmannerly thing of all? Please advise.

A lot of the peripheral rules, like tipping one’s hat, or using the correct fork, or burping at the dinner table, seem to be unique to particular cultures and societies. To what extent we will have multiple cultures in the next life, and thus multiple rules for manners, I don’t know. And so I don’t know that I can say that these “lesser” manners are gospel or not.