Comments on: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

By: grego

grego — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:15:19 +0000

I think the main reason change is so hard, is we don’t talk about the practicality of what we do. Church is limited to gospel, basically, not the actual application of the principles or content. So we know what to do, but not really how to do it. While prayer, fasting, studying, etc. are helpful and necessary in our quest to know what and how, much recent research/ study/ experience has shown lots of helpful ideas, of which a very few are:
*We have bad habits. We form new habits, but the bad habits don’t just disappear; they will go away, but with time.
*We need to use both sides of our brain to set the goals. Then we need to engage both sides to accomplish them.
*Try EFT! I’ve used it to get rid of the bad, and instill the good.
*Try hypnosis! Pres. Packer hinted at it once during his “tap your ring” talk. I’ve also done anchoring for wanting to go to the temple, and it’s worked pretty well. Granted, it’s only been a few months, but that’s good for me.

By: comet

comet — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 15:01:32 +0000

I like your post because it reminds me that sometimes my ideas and intentions are not enough to make changes, though they seem to come so easily to mind on a productive and imaginative day when I can see miles ahead though my feet are are plodding only inches at a time. I can draft full reform measures for household chores and family routines in a dreamy afternoon, only to revert back to the status quo (due to countervailing realities). It’s probably true that a fraction of those changes actually do come to pass, but only way later and rarely in the original guise I fashioned them. The rah rah schtick that centers all change on human will and agency grows burdensome and ultimately self-defeating, even or sometimes especially in the church. Your post is a timely corrective.

By: John

John — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 04:26:41 +0000

Speaking of NY resolutions…

I try to avoid any resolution that sounds like a goal–something that can be acheived and finished. Instead, I opt for resolutions that maps to a theme–something that guides my choices for the year. Rather than “I will lose 30 pounds in 2007,” I might decide to “eat healthier in 2007.” The idea of failure fades away, and I’m not stuck with a goal that seems impossible and becomes less and less likely to achieve each passing day. In fact, it’s easy to think of many interim goals that fit with my yearly theme; however, I treat them as experiments–failure is not an option because even trying something new is a success in itself…

Life is certainly easier if it is experienced as a gradual increase in overall good (course corrections), but every 5-7 years I experience a quantum change that literally changes who I am and how I think of myself. During those times I become acutely aware of an overwhelming need to do something differently…or die! As I look back on my life, I now attribute many of these momentous changes to a spiritual gift that motivates me to grow beyond my daily routine and to do and become something that I hadn’t even imagined.

By: Robert C.

Robert C. — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 15:52:21 +0000

I also think change is a fascinating and central topic in scripture. I think one point that the BOM harps on over and over is the need to continually remain in a state that is committed to change for the better (by having a broken heart and contrite spirit, being submissive like a child, etc.). I think failing to remember (by recovering) our state of mind and spirit at the moment of conversion (once we’ve experienced it) is basically tantamount to falling into old habits. (I think Terry Warner does a good job of discussing many of these issues in his Bonds that Make us Free book, or a title something like that…).

By: dsilversmith

dsilversmith — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 05:02:32 +0000

I think many of us resist change because we fall into the comfort trap. We know we could do better if…..but we qare comfortable where we qare and do not want loss that comfort. So we do not , Move, change jobs, buy some strange food, or want any change in the way thing were done at church. I remember when the church went to block meeting. the people who complainded the most about having to go to church 3 times a day were the one who complained about the new block meetings.

By: Barb

Barb — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 03:33:19 +0000

Sarebear, that is a great analogy! I appreciate your thoughts as well on the subject.

My baby book says that I hate change. Although I have made some drastic changes at 19 and early 20′s, I am more about the status quo now.

I cringe at that book with little mice looking for cheese all the time.

By: Sideshow

Sideshow — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 16:55:31 +0000

Thank you for your qualification, JKS. Do you really think the exercise will not positively affect many areas of your husband’s life? If so, maybe he shouldn’t be exercising. I have put exercise into my life this year by making it physically harder to do something I normally do, in this case going to work. For me it has been good because it gives me exercise and traffic is thick enough that I actually get to work faster on a bike than I did taking public transportation. Maybe there’s a way your husband can include exercise in his life that is not so disruptive.

I was actually responding specifically to Gordon’s last paragraph: “Spiritual changes face the same sort of constraints. Our spiritual lives are intimately intertwined with our daily routines, and changing those routines requires more than changing our minds.”

By: J. Michael

J. Michael — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 15:53:23 +0000

Two modest generalizations based on years of observation: (1) people don\’t resist change, they resist being changed, and (2) most of us won\’t change until the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of changing.

By: RR Millward

RR Millward — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 11:43:44 +0000

Inertia is a good thing. We become stronger by working against it then it in turn supports us by stabilizing us on the new path.

Speaking of New Year Resolutions, another thing I learned about inertia is that small changes all year long are better in several ways. One big difference is that a continual self-evaluation greatly lengthens the list of improvements to choose from. Another is that, instead of great flame of fire as the rocket engines redirect annually, we get by with many tiny spurts from the tiny guidance jets. Finally, great course corrections are exausting where tiny corrections leave us rested and able to enjoy the path.

By: Gordon Smith

Gordon Smith — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:29:24 +0000

Thanks for all of the positive comments. I wanted to pick up on Sideshow’s point: “The intertwining is also a good thing.”

While, as JKS notes, this is not inevitably true, it is true to an important degree. “Inertia” enables us to be more dependable and accountable. The trick, as we teach our children, is to develop good habits.