Since you make me laugh, I’ll give you a helpful hint: You might make more progress if you didn’t seem so utterly desperate to land a punch.

YL, in answer to your question: Everything.

What a cop out! This kind of general answer suggests what you cannot defend specifics because there are enough people on this blog who know you well enough to recognize your lies if you defend specifics. That means you didn’t go on a mission because of your argumentative attitude. What specific things are you not willing to discuss: “Everything.”

Jim F., thanks for this post. It’s very nice of you, certainly nicer than I deserve. I’ve gotten over my embarrassment. You’re right: I am a big boy, though the question of how mature I am is an altogether different one. There are three things that you say that I’d like to address directly.

You say that I need people to like me less than most people, perhaps less than anyone. And I suppose that I do get along well enough on my own much of the time. I have an easier go of things in real life than on the bloggernacle, because in real life (a) it’s much easier to make people smile or laugh (and you can always get away with so much more if you can make someone smile or laugh), and (b) people aren’t free to imagine me as a poorly groomed and charmless monster of abominably ugly appearance. If I may say so without sounding sexist, I think that Rosalynde gets away with a heck of a lot of flame throwing just because she’s a good looking woman, and everybody knows it. (That, plus the fact that she’s a terrific writer and does much better with humor and nuance in writing than I do. But her sex and her appearance definitely play some role as well.) But I like your post because it assumes that there’s a place for me (even me) in the bloggernacle, and that’s nice to hear, because I sometimes don’t feel quite at home among many mormons.

You say quite a few things about me being smart, me not being self-impressed, me being intellectually honest. I must admit (so far as I can without sounding self-impressed) that I do like to hear these kind of things said about me. I like to be thought of as smart (for purely selfish reasons, of course). I appreciate your saying these things, because it’s nice to know that somebody thinks that.

You also say that you wish that I’d try harder to be nice to those with whom I argue. I am something of a behaviorist, and so I tend to conceive of my comments as stimuli that should elicit some response. But I will try harder to be nice to those with whom I argue.

Re-reading the comments, I realized that I forgot to thank Meems for always being great about everything–even going back to Banner of Heaven.

YL, in answer to your question: Everything.

Besides the mistake of not knowing who was applying for the job, what have I said about you that wasn’t true? Often your meanness is done in the name of what you call “directness.” You often sacrifice others to your “icon.”

What makes DKL so important to the Bloggernacle is the contrast between him and the UberOrthodox view of the President of the Church: When the Prophet speaks, the debate is over. On the other hand, when DKL posts, the debate begins.

We’re sending you another kid, David. The kid down the street is coming to Boston in October. He’s special to me in so many ways. I tried to e-mail you, but it came back. Anyway, watch out for Elder Farnsworth. I think he’s your kind of guy. He could get real uncivil if you mess with him. He’s also a ladies man. The girls went crazy for him in high school. Swahvay! Sarah just remembers him as the little kid who annoyed her.

I appreciated your definition of iconoclasm, Kaimi. When I first heard this word about ten years ago, I felt such relief that there was a name for what I am.

We’re very iconoclastic around here. In the original sense. We see icons, and we destroy them. (Look up the word, that’s the etymology). Like the iconoclasts of old, we like to hit icons. With hammers. (Except for Adam, who hits people with hammers if they hit icons with hammers; but we figure this is close enough.)

Anyway, now that DKL has made it clear that he’s not really an icon of incivility, I suppose we can stop hitting him with a hammer. It was awfully fun while it lasted, though.

Ouch! That one really cuts to the quick!

And Icon of Incivility? Really. It bears noting that I’m seldom less polite to others than they are to me. Even the citation of incivility from your post is downright gracious compared to what YL has had to say (granted, she’s obviously got other issues…). I wonder if perhaps you’re confusing incivility with directness.

In my hurry to get my last comment off before my wife (one hot babe) carried the bags out of the hotel room by herself, I forgot to say how funny Brian G’s and Christian’s comments were.

Akash! Great to hear from you! Thanks for the kind words.

annegb, I remember that missionary! He was really great. Our ward always gets the best missionaries. I was the ward mission leader for about 12 weeks last year in my ward, because the bishop must have thought it would be a real hoot to have me in PEC for a little while (I got 4 different callings over the course of 8 months last year–I just can’t seem to get anything right). Anyway, being Ward Mission Leader took a lot of time, but definitely the best parts was getting to work closely with the missionaries.