On Mother’s day, it fell to me to clean up the kitchen.
After I washed the dishes, I took the kitchen IQ test–matching the washed tupperware lids with the correct washed tupperware containers. I passed! Naturally, being in a celebratory mood, I got engrossed in the contents of our tupperware drawer. We have clear, sturdy containers with solid white or off-white lids; pastel containers with pastel lids; clear containers with pastel lids; the ubiquitous flimsy containers that are clear plastic with translucent blue lids, the ones that you buy at Wal-Mart and that are made by, I think, the same people who make garbage bags; containers with ridges in them; containers that have a built in a little base; actual tupperware trademark; round containers, square containers, rounded square containers, bowl containers, tall containers, squat containers–we have them all.
The variety is the result of the United Order of Tupperware that we practice. Some of the containers are our own, others were given to us, a few belong to my parents because we’d run out of leftovers so I stopped by to take some of theirs on my way to work; I think a couple of pieces might have belonged to roommates of ours way back when; and some of them are meals that people brought over and told us not to worry about returning the containers, or else we forgot. Since we lose tupperware to other people from time to time, its clear that we’re living a sort of United Order of Tupperware. Pioneer times are here again!
Which is not to say that all is well in Zion. We were talking about Napoleon Dynamite recently and I suggested that if I owned a brig, I’d yank the bread and water right out of there and replace them with old, cold, congealed tater tots and lukewarm, flat diet coke. That would teach ‘em. The Lovely One thought maybe that would be a bit harsh and suggested it was probably our nation’s good fortune, and certainly the good fortune of those detained there, that I wasn’t in charge of Gitmo.
We may be practicing the United Order of Tupperware, but we cannot truly build the Kingdom if there are tater tots among us.