Old Testament Humor

May 14, 2006 | 15 comments
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How do we know that Jael, Heber’s wife, was very righteous?

She got her entire stake through the temple.

See Judges 4:21. Courtesy of our local Institute Director.

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15 Responses to Old Testament Humor

  1. Jim F. on May 14, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    Yech!

  2. Anita on May 14, 2006 at 11:41 pm

    And did you read about the food fight?
    Zechariah saw a flying roll… (Zechariah 5:1)

  3. Mephibosheth on May 15, 2006 at 12:09 am

    Evidence that Rebekah had a Word of Wisdom problem:

    And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. (Genesis 24:64)

  4. Starfoxy on May 15, 2006 at 12:32 am

    Anita, I thought that was about toilet paper.

  5. meems on May 15, 2006 at 7:02 am

    And in Genesis 3:24, we find out that God has a car. ‘Cause he drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.

  6. Mark Butler on May 15, 2006 at 7:15 am

    My favorite is Isaiah 14:8:

    “Yea, the fir trees rejoice at thee, and the cedars of Lebanon, saying, Since thou art laid down, no feller is come up against us.”

  7. Adam Greenwood on May 15, 2006 at 8:04 am

    You interested in the Cub Scouts, Gordon? We’re always looking for adults who have the right stuff, and you may just be one of them.

  8. Wacky Hermit on May 15, 2006 at 10:25 am

    I remember snickering about how Abraham saddled his ass and left Ur… in about ninth grade.

    It’s still funny, although now I laugh at it secretly instead of openly. I am, after all, a parent. I have to set a good example for my kids.

  9. Jed on May 15, 2006 at 12:39 pm

    The Morning of the Living Dead:

    “And it came to pass that night, that the angel of the LORD went out, and smote in the camp of the Assyrians an hundred fourscore and five thousand: and when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses.” (2 Kings 19:35)

    Evidence for Santa Claus:

    “Ho, ho, come forth, and flee from the land of the north” (Zech 2:6).

  10. cchrissyy on May 15, 2006 at 5:55 pm

    my husband and I laughed out loud in sunday shcool last week

    http://scriptures.lds.org/num/22/30#30

    Neigh!

  11. It's Not Me on May 16, 2006 at 12:44 am

    Although it’s not the Old Testament, I get a chuck out of Abinadi sneaking into the city in disguise, then announcing, “It’s me, Abinadi!”

  12. It's Not Me on May 16, 2006 at 12:45 am

    Uh, that should read “chuckle.”

  13. ukann` on May 16, 2006 at 3:16 am

    And don’t forget the old chestnut about when tennis was first mentioned in the Bible?

    “when Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court!”

  14. Ryan on May 16, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    Ahh yes, back when I drove my honda, I was so proud to be driving the same car as the Son of God

    “and I speak not of mine own accord”

  15. EHeath on May 22, 2006 at 7:32 am

    One that always made me laugh was:

    It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

    Prov. 21: 19

    Seems like a call to go fishing.