In 2005, Simon turned seven, Nathan turned four, and Truman turned one.
January 8th: Truman giggled.
Nathan: “You canâ€™t leave us here alone. Thatâ€™s onlegal.”
Julie: “I wasnâ€™t going to and I think you mean ‘illegal.’”
Nathan: “No, Mommy. The word is ‘onlegal.’”
Nathan: “Iâ€™m allergic to snow.”
Julie: “This book is about Joan of Arc.”
Nathan: “Isnâ€™t she the one that got fired?”
Julie: “Truman is stinky.”
Nathan: “To me, he doth not stink.”
Nathan: “Youâ€™re the best mommy I’ve ever had!”
Nathan: “Last day when we went to Chik-fil-a, why did you give Truman ketchup?”
Julie: “Oh, it was just an experiment.”
Nathan: “Trumanâ€™s not for experiments!”
February 17th: Truman started reaching out to grab things.
Nathan: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eleventeen, fourteen.”
Nathan: “Mom, can we do that thing where you hold me down and give me a million kisses?”
Nathan: “I don’t want to go to church! I already know about Jesus! Why do we have to keep going over and over again?”
March 21st: Truman found his feet.
Nathan, mad at Simon for interrupting his computer game: “You’re making me lose my focus!”
By way of introduction of her lesson on Adam and Eve, Nathan’s teacher reviewed the creation of the earth and said, “But there was one very important thing missing!” Nathan blurted out, “Toys!”
May 20th: Truman got his first tooth.
Nathan, summarizing life: “So you grow up, then you’re a grown up for a long time, then you turn into an old lady or an old man and then–bam!–youâ€™re dead.”
Nathan, to a child who thought Truman was a girl: “It’s not a baby sister! It doesn’t have any ribbons on it!â€?
Nathan, to a group of moms at the playground: “Excuse me! Excuse me! Iâ€™m sorry to interrupt but there’s a zombie on the playground.”
Simon, reading out loud from his history book, “‘The Spanish and English planted colonies’ . . .but don’t ask me where they got colony seeds because I have no idea.”
Nathan, on hearing that Julie was going shopping at Toys R Us for his birthday, “Mom, get me one of everything!”
Last week in a store, some stickers slipped into the stroller and were accidentally taken home. When Julie realized what had happened, she returned them to the store.
Nathan, not quietly, while walking out of another store: “Mommy, you didn’t accidentally steal anything this time, did you?”
Simon and Nathan continue to play Webster and the Three Evil Dentists. They (along with their friend Alex) are the three evil dentists who torment poor Webster in every way possible, including offering him what appears to be chocolate but is actually brussel sprouts.
Simon: “Webster’s dad has worked for five years at a company that writes equations but he only just now learned what 1 + 1 is!”
Simon tries to explain inflation to Nathan.
Nathan: “Yeah, even infinity was smaller back then.”
Simon tells Julie that, of the live band he heard, the girl playing the tangerine was his favorite.
Nathan: “Mom, Cooper had his eyes open during the prayer . . . and I only know that because I read his mind.”
Julie: “Do you want your sandwich cut up?”
Nathan: “Yes! Into hexagons!”
In an effort to put physical affection into a context that appeals to her tough guys, Julie invents the wildly successful Kissing Cyclops.
Nathan: “Mom, if the Earth really is spinning, why aren’t I dizzy?”
October 10th: Truman took his first steps.
Nathan, in a prayer: “And please bless us that we won’t step on the carpet because we are pretending that it is lava.”
Nathan: “Whatâ€™s the true meaning of Halloween?”
Nathan: “Itâ€™s a good thing we have a Nathan. They can be very helpful sometimes.”
The boys took all of their Halloween candy out of the packages and put it into the wrong wrappers in order to trick The Evil King of Evil Things.
Nathan, not wanting his substitute teacher in his Primary class at Church to know his secret identity, asked her to call him “Unknown.”
Nathan, after a particularly good birthday party: “And please bless us that it can be Ryan’s birthday every day.”
Nathan: “I have a big mouth and I know how to use it.”
You sure do, Nathan.