At Clean Cut: "How can a 21st-century church ask people to not talk openly about things?" (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
Kevin Barney on why faith should be good enough. We need to lower the testimony bar. (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
Jana Riess on what the Church gets from John Dehlin's upcoming excommunication, besides bad publicity: basically nothing. (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
Crowd sourcing my kid's seminary problems: a plea for your collective wisdom and experience. http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2015/01/seminary-woes/#comment-529591 ... See MoreSee Less
RealClearReligion ran my post critiquing the dominant narrative (at least in the mainstream press) that John Dehlin's disciplinary council is primarily about his support for same-sex marriage and Ordain Women. I explored some additional points on my own blog. http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/2015/01/20/why-john-dehlin-faces-church-discipline/ (Nathaniel) ... See MoreSee Less
Religion + Math ... See MoreSee Less
At JI, a Q&A with Jared Hickman, author of "The Book of Mormon as Amerindian Apocalypse." (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
At The Daily Beast: "The Coming Crackdown on Mormon Liberals." (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
We have announced the 2014 Mormon of the Year.http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/2015/… ... See MoreSee Less
In contrast to decades past, I suspect that atheism/agnosticism is a much greater threat to Mormonism than evangelical Christianity. ... See MoreSee Less
Come for the conversion story, stay for an exciting new theology of Golden Plates. ... See MoreSee Less
At Peculiar People: Doubting at Zion's Gate (Dave) ... See MoreSee Less
In this post I actually publish something. That alone should be worth a high five. ... See MoreSee Less
In this post, I try to reconcile differing perspectives on why Mormon youth leave and what to do about it. (Nathaniel Givens) ... See MoreSee Less
Emerging Mormon mysticism: read the post, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. (Dave) http://www.withoutend.org/denver-snuffer-emerging-mormon-mysticism/ ... See MoreSee Less
“I planted some [popcorn kernels] in the back yard, so we can have apricots.”
Kace Wenger, age 6.
With a pitiful and empathetic tone: “do God and Jesus have chairs so that they don’t have to stand all the time?”
Marianne Fowles, age 4.
Reading the story of the rich young man in the New Testament during family scripture study:
Mom: He asked Jesus what he needed to do to go to heaven. [asks question to see if they are listening] What do you need to do to go to heaven?
Laura, age 4: [pauses thoughtfully, and then bubbles over with excitement because she thinks she has the answer] Fly?
Little girl playing with two toy soldiers, and she has one toy soldier say to the other “I’m going to kill you so you can go to Heavenly Father.”
I didn’t hear it first-hand, but it was told me by her father.
(Not my kid, but) Upon seeing an Ensign with the cover painting depicting Jesus breaking the round sacrament bread: “Look, mom! Jesus likes a pizza too!”
Libby, age 4
My 2-year-old daughter to me: “You’re married to Mommy?”
2yo [puffing chest out]: “Well, I’m married to Jesus!”
A Primary class is asked ‘What is brown, small, has a fuzzy tail and gathers nuts for the winter?’
One child responds: “I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.”
Primary teacher: Who knows a lot about his ancestors?
Linda (7): I do! At home we have a big gynecology tree.
Brandon (5), it’s your turn to read the Book of Mormon scripture (say it out loud with me). Ready?
Brandon: “And it came to pass,” am I right?
My four-year-old recently had his turn for family prayer. We had been praying for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and the “GULF COAST”. My son ask the Lord to “Bless the GOLF COURSE to be rebuild”.
“Look Daddy! Beer!” (loudly, during the sacrament, while the water was being passed).
Joe, age 4.
“Does Heavenly Father have a father? What about an uncle?” – Nathaniel, about age 7
Some other non-religious gems:
“I know how to say ‘apple’ in sign language. You take an apple and do this with it,” my son Elijah, age 7, holding an apple up and shaking it
“Does the power of the microwave really come from the earth’s core?” – Elijah, age 8, making himself some soup
“I get hungry, and then I get full. THAT’S MY LIFE. It’s not your life! SHUT UP!” – Elijah, age 8
The Dad, helping 2 year old daughter pray at bedtime: “and we’re thankful for the missionaries.”
2 yo: “Thankful for mish-naries”
Dad: “We’re thankful for the prophet.”
2 yo: (long pause)
2 yo, in slow, deep, two-year-old voice: “Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, don’t go astray.”
My own two year old:
Maren: Mommy, you have a sister.
Me: I do?
Maren: I am your sister. Claire-Mommy, you are a child of God!
In my wife’s childhood ward, there was a family of seven that typically sat on the front row. One sacrament meeting one of the boys got in trouble. As dad was dragging him down the aisle he was yelling:
“BISHOP! HELP! MY DAD’S GONNA SPANK ME!”
Not something he said, but something he did:
When the Bishop asked if there were any opposed to our new calling as Sunday School teachers, my 16-month-old (whom I was holding in my arms while standing) put his hand straight up..
A few years ago my two daughters were fighting over who was going to hold the Book of Mormon. The four year old proclaimed, “Mom, she’s not sharing the gospel with me!”
Joseph, 4, after watching “Veggie Tales” on DVD, a Christmas gift from his aunt:
“God made the stars out of nothing!”
Joseph, after his parents try to expound correct doctrine to him:
“God didn’t make the stars. They just formed out of gas and dust.”
These are great. My mommy brain can’t think of any of my kids cute sayings off the top of my head, but maybe I’ll remember some later.
Good to see you back on the blogs, Kaimi. Glad it wasn’t too long a sabbatical.
I love these kinds of threads. I think we don’t laugh enough.
I’m sure my kids said funny things, but the first thing I thought of when I read the post was something my husband said once in church a long time ago.
He’s a big guy and has a deep loud voice, but he’s hard of hearing, so he doesn’t realize how deep it is. We were just sitting quietly one Sunday before church and in the lull, he said, “boy, Brother R’s wife sure is fat, isn’t she.”
I had an out of body experience.
Now it’s been 24 years and I’m used to that sort of thing.
My 4yo a few weeks ago, while offering the prayer at the start of FHE:
“And please bless us that we won’t step on the carpet because we are pretending that it is lava.”
But I think Keith wins the prize for the best one so far.
“Jesus is a powerful man. I’m going to ask him if when I’m a spirit I will be able to dive out of the clouds and crash!”
Thrillseeking Sam Shaw, age 6, whose mother dreads adolescence like nothing else
“The brain and the heart are both very important but the heart is more important that the brain because the brain only thinks but the heart feels.”
– Stephen, at 5 1/2 years
I learned much from my son!
my six year old son: Hey, do you have the priesthood?
his primary teacher: yes.
my son: that’s so cool.
they both sit there a minute, reflecting on that.
my son, looking at the kid playing in the draperies in the class: you have the priesthood, you should put your hand out and shock him.
thank you, book of mormon movie.
My then 4-year old son, holding a couple of small rubber balls he brought to the dinner table:
“Father in Heaven, Thank you for my balls…
(must say outloud)
My son said “Dad, the whole world is made out of atoms, right?”
His younger sister responded, “But what about Eves?”
I laughed so hard I almost had to stop the car hearing her first expression of gender equality.
This happened this morning!
I was talking about the Tower of Babel. “Those people thought building a tower would bring them closer to Heavenly Father. What is really the best way to be closer to Heavenly Father?”
Liz (age 6): “To pray.”
Julian (age 4): “To pray… and to be dead!”
Driving back from church one day, my five year old was singing at the top of her voice:
“I am a child of God, and so my knees are grey…”
I thought it was funny until I saw the missionaries. Their blue suits were grey at the knees from kneeling in prayer. Looks like my daughter knew something I didn’t.
I always thought that old primary song said
“Give Seth the little stream.”
They had the words printed on the program at my baptism. I was crushed.
Careful about the grey knees though. In my mission, there was a native missionary who read “The Marks of a Man.” Every morning after that, you could hear him secretly rubbing his knees on the carpet during apartment prayer.
While in primary as a teacher, during singing time, we were learning a new song. The music leader had written the words of the song on the board so that the words could be memorized. After singing the song a few times and after each time singing she would erase a word. Once near the end, she asked what word should come off next. One child said â€œtake it all off!â€? Well, the adults started to laugh, and you all know that when someone laughs at what one child says, they all have to say it! Soon several of the children were shouting â€œtake it all off!â€? â€œtake it all off!â€?
Our four year old was listing the various meat eating dinosaurs to me and explaining how they devoured other, less fortunate plant-eaters.
After explaining these gustatory habits he concluded that these meat eaters were “creditors.”
In celebration of the Sound of Music DVD release: Tyler (7) was singing the well known “doe a deer…, ray a drop.., mi a name…” song. He stopped for a moment with a perplexed look on his face and then asked me, “Dad, how do you doe a deer?”
I have two anecdotes. One from me as a child:
Me (at 4 yrs old): Mommy, why does Daddy get to pick who says the prayer during Family Home Evening?
Mom: Because he’s in charge, dear.
Me (after brief pause): Oh. So did you put him in charge?
Here’s the second. My daughter, Chloe, was 2 1/2 when “The Other Side of Heaven” came out on video. She watched it with us and enjoyed it. The next day, my wife overheard Chloe singing to herself:
“You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in, and you shake it all about;
You do the Kolipoki and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about!”
Daughter, age 4: “Can we listen to some music?”
Me: “Sure. Want to listen to Primary music?” (The Primary program is next week and they put the music on CD for all the kids so they could learn it at home)
Daughter: “No, the Beatles. I like them better.”
Yesterday after primary, my 4-year old son came home singing, “I want to be a dictionary now…”