I have learned a little about acceptance and forgiveness from my difficult neighbor. I don’t necessarily change how I feel, but I change how I act, which is very nice, then I feel nicer. If that makes sense.

She’s been here for three years, I think, and she’s growing on me. I get mad, then I act nice, then I feel nicer. Who would know I had that much patience? I think we were friends in heaven or something.

Really, if Septimus had written me a “grow up, act your age, get a life” letter instead of a nice apology, I would not have been so forgiving.

And I think the Julie M. Smith is the fallout of the change to the newer wordpress.

Here’s what I’ve learned from help I received from others. It generally agrees with your comments.

We are called to love friends and enemies — everyone. Forgiving those that despitefully use us and other enemies cleanses *our* hearts
“Myth #6. “I can’t forgive until I know the other person is really sorry and won’t do it again.â€? Although it may seem unfair that the victim should forgive an unrepentant offender, it is even more unfair that the victim should remain in a state of hurt and anger waiting for the offender to repent. Forgiveness should not be confused with excusing the offense. Rather, it is the way in which the victim is released from the power of the offender.
“So, what is forgiveness? Forgiveness implies a change of heart. When we say, “I forgive you,â€? we are saying “I have stopped being angry with you.â€? Forgiveness also conveys a change in the victim’s expectations. For example, he or she no longer seeks recriminations or tries to get even. Genuine forgiveness is a process, not a product. It takes time and is hard work. It is a voluntary act which gives meaning to the wound, disengages the offended from the offender, and frees the injured person from the ills of bitterness and resentment. [...]
“Forgiveness is the process through which the injured person gains peace, freedom, self-acceptance, and release from self-pity; through forgiveness wounds are healed. It is a privilege to forgive, because forgiveness really is for the benefit of the victim! It may be easier to forgive if the offender repents, but victims should not be dependent on the repentance of the offender in order to experience the freedom that comes with forgiveness. (Dr. Elaine Walton, “Embracing Hope”, BYU, 23 Oct. 2002)

and keeps us ready to love and to keep the Holy Ghost’s companionship
“We cannot have the companionship of the Holy Ghost – the medium of individual revelation – if we are in transgression or if we are angry.” – Dallin Oaks

Loving someone is a call to help them (e.g. good Samaritan). Marvin J. Ashton explained two key steps in love/friendship in his first GenCon talk as an apostle (Fri, 6 Oct, 1972) , “A friend is someone who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me.” Both of these components require not forgetting but clear recognition a person’s faults:
1) for them to feel they *are* loved as they are. This from my SP was key in breaking my heart, opening the door to its change from stony to fleshy and
2) using that awareness to focus our help on the specific ways they need to grow.
Somewhere in all this would be normal precautions against possible harm to ourselves until their repentance is complete. Of course, after a person has repented of a particular offense, we then would forget it.

I believe this follows God’s plan. He forgives, and I want him to forgive, immediately. However, I do *not* want him to forget my sins while I’m asking for his help to overcome them! But, yes, please do forget them once they’re behind me and he promised that he then will remember them no more.

I think the wisest thing said about the whole issue was Christ’s ‘love your enemies.’ On the one hand we see it as a hard saying and try to put qualifications on when we have to do it. But on the other hand, we sometimes forget that he referred to ‘enemies.’ We think that he meant something like ‘cease to have enemies, cease to think of people as enemies,’ but that’s not so. Same with ‘do good to those who hate us.’ We don’t like that much, but when we do, we often misinterpret it as saying something like ‘acquiesce in the wishes of those who hate you.’

http://scriptures.lds.org/matt/5/48#48