Priesthood interviews are I think a bigger problem. We rely on a lay Priesthood that may not be very well trained or experienced in some cases. There is a tendency to feel justified in sharing difficult cases with the next guy up the line; Bishops telling Stake Presidents, etc., especially if the leader feels that he is in over his head. I don’t know the law in my state but I think that it might be a breech of clerical confidentality to tell other leaders the contents of these interviews in some cases. I know of one such a breech that happened in my ward and that it was damaging to those who had gone to their Bishop expecting confidential advice and help.

Another humorous comment our Bishop once made on this subject. He pointed out that when he announced something over the pulpit it seemed that no one was listening to him. But when he indicated in ward council that something was confidential, in no time the entire ward seemed to know about it. So he was telling us in strictest confidence that he was getting pretty tired of so many people arriving late to church and asked us all keep it a big secret that he would prefer that everyone leave home for church meetings about 5 minutes sooner.

In ward council and such meetings is where it gets interesting. We can find black and white examples where people were run off by gossip (# 5) and lives were saved (#13). But what about the nebulous area between, which is where I think ward council meetings sometimes fall? I have not sat in one of these meetings for a few years, but I recall a time listening to “Dr.” Laura on the radio blast someone for gossiping and suddenly I realized that we had been gossiping in ward council. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

The next Sunday in ward council I made a list of about a dozen statements that might or might not have been true made about various people. Then I set out to do a bit of detective work and find out the basic facts, by talking directly to those involved or otherwise finding first hand information. Surprize, in at least half of the cases the information shared in ward council was inaccurate.

Whether the information is critical or hurtful is more subjective and difficult to evaluate, but I know of several instances where I was told byb a well meaning friend that someone said that some else said something less than lauditory about me and it hurt. People can be sensitive, especially about the sort of things likely to be of interest in ward council.

I believe that most people in ward council mean well, but they may not realize that what they
intend to be helpful can be hurtful.

The next time it was my turn to share an inspirational thought in ward council, I presented some scriptural material about gossip and just asked those there what they thought about the possibility that it might be a problem in our ward councils. Everyone became very defensive, sounding like a bunch of children caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.

I will be curious to see if anyone else feels guilty and finds the need to repent of a little well meaning gossip in ward council like I did.

I would think something similar might happen when names are being considered by a bishopbric or a presidency for callings — that is a person’s qualifications, capabilities, worthiness, etc. might be discussed to a certain extent.

The question is practical to a certain extent. Organizations need to function and in order to function they must contemplate, share and discuss accurate positive or negative information about people.

I realize it’s not always clear what is public information that can, and sometimes should be repeated, and what should not be repeated.

Prov. 17: 28: Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

Or as Ben Franklin (I think) said, “Better to keep your mouth shut and thought a fool, than to open it, and remove all doubt.

I love knowing everything about everybody. I hate anybody knowing anything about me.

This is the place where we can say everything we need to get off our chest, or secretly want others to know. This gets us off the hook for ‘not trusting ourselves with our own secret’ (love that comment, JA), because it is a safe environment with a great amount of confidence (ideally, maybe there are Bishops who bring people’s confessions home. I hope not).

So if there is something about yourself that could assist others in knowing how best to help you or interpreting your behavior, tell it to your Priesthood leader who is obligated to use discretion, before the “word gets out”, which is not guaranteed to be a good thing.

This all assumes that you have a decent relationship with these guys, and feel you can tell them things. I really enjoy having a Bishop my own age (27), so this helps me, but I think all Bishops can make themselves more accessible to all their members and remove any barriers that may be.