Comments on: In-laws

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 21:02:03 +0000

My initial read of your post Jim was that I’m Kacy in my family, and I don’t mean that to toot my own horn either. I was blessed to grow up in a family that taught me to be involved in a lot of things, be well educated etc. and to be aware of how others perceived me (which can be a bad thing I’ll admit – makes you very self concious at times) anyhoo – my story if it may shed some light on what may be going on in your daughter in laws mind – if not? well, stop reading here. I married a handsome man who is NOTHING like his family – doesn’t even look like them – even though his mother jokes with me how she cannot tell her husband and mine apart (it bugs me yes). Moving right along – he’s slightly a nerd and I love him for it – I enjoy being nerdy with him (LOVED Napolean Dynamite probably because I watched it with him) but his family, I’ve learned after 3 years, speak their minds and my husbands says they were intimidated by me. By ME?!? Either way I noticed that they treated me differently which communicated to me that they didn’t like me for whatever reason. My first year of marriage was full of tears because of it. I loved them anyway for having my husband and tried in every way to gain their approval as I knew this would be an ETERNAL relationship that I had to make better. Thank heavens it is getting better and I’m understanding them more and more – I’ll agree that I do “overlook their nerdiness” as you mentioned – they’re not into the things I’m into, from a different generation and don’t understand where I’m coming from, but I’ve also learned a great deal from them because of our vast differences. So I just tell myself that’s who they are – same way you overlook anothers shortcomings because you yourself know you’re not perfect either. Really, as a daughter in law all you want is to know that the parents of the man you love so very much approve of his decision to make his home with you, approve of you and love you. This was fun for my first blog!

By: Gabrielle

Gabrielle — Tue, 31 May 2005 20:07:20 +0000

Jim: I don’t know, your claim to unhipness rings hollow. I have a distinct memory of having you visit my History of Civilization class — you walked in wearing Birkenstocks and lectured while sitting on the table. I leaned over to the student next to me and whispered “Hey, I didn’t know they had hip teachers at BYU.” (Sadly, I’m unsure of what you lectured on as my attention was with your shoes.)

It was at least a year later that your hipness was confirmed when I ate a meal in your home with Matthew and Ben and realized I was in the presence of my first “Foodies” — another surefire indication of hipness.

I’m thinking: the Faulconers wear hippie shoes AND cook as though they live in France? That was 10 years ago and I still haven’t recovered from the cool overload.

By: Salem

Salem — Mon, 30 May 2005 17:09:45 +0000

Kacy #14
My sister-in-law will argue to the death that at her high school(American Fork, UT) all the cool kids were in marching band. Not much one can say to a person like that.

By: Jim F

Jim F — Mon, 30 May 2005 04:36:17 +0000

Heather (#22): It is always possible that somehow between his graduation from BYU and the present, Nate has become hip. If, contrary to probability, that is true, I strongly suspect it has something to do with his marriage partner.

Nate should know, however, that I have long believed that nerdiness is a positive character trait in most people. That doesn’t mean that hip people have a character flaw. As you can tell from my post, “some of my best relatives are hip.” But they are at a disadvantage that they must eventually overcome. (Kacy and Rebecca overcame that disadvantage a while back.)

Look at the people we all knew in high school who were cool or hip. Then compare them to the nerds we knew. Where is each group now? Not exactly an experiment of which Frank would approve, but good enough for me. Hipness in the young often leads in bad directions (as it absolutely does in those over 40 who want to be hip.) It is a great, but non-essential, attribute that should be reserved for those in their twenties and thirties. But it’s all right to marry hipness (as the men on this blog did) as a substitute for having it oneself. As your earlier post hinted, that may be the best of all possible worlds, one spouse hip, the other not.

By: Kaimi

Kaimi — Sun, 29 May 2005 04:40:36 +0000

Apropos Heather’s confession that she has been seduced by the dark side, see also Nate’s comment from December of 2003 (a lifetime ago in blog years!), discussing his wife’s views on law, philosophy, and blogging. Key quote: “She also thinks of blogging as an infectious disease.”

I don’t know that we ever gave you a formal welcome to the leper colony, Heather. Well, better late than never — welcome to the colony! The gauze bandages are over on the big table in the middle of the room. But you already figured that out.

By: Heather Oman

Heather Oman — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:25:35 +0000

Jim-

Nate is offended that you don’t think he’s hip, but he said he won’t defend his hipness publicly. He’s too hip for that.

By: Susan M

Susan M — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:24:56 +0000

Oh. And I got my kids an early Green Day album.

By: Susan M

Susan M — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:23:02 +0000

I’m afraid hipness is all relative. I went to a cd store today and bought:

Prong – Rude Awakening
Harkonen – Shake Harder Boy
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists – Tell Balgeary, Balgury is Dead

And:

Christopher Cross – Christopher Cross

See what I mean?

By: Heather Oman

Heather Oman — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:07:46 +0000

Frank-

Numchuck skills are hip, too.

By: Heather Oman

Heather Oman — Sun, 29 May 2005 03:04:50 +0000

You’re darn right nerdiness can be infectious. Two years ago I wouldn’t have dreamed of commenting on Times and Seasons, let alone having my own blog. Now look at me–it’s shameful, I tell you, SHAMEFUL! Oh, how the mighty have fallen…