I still remember the first time I heard Christian rock music in the early 1980s. I thought it was awful and vaguely sacrilegious. Of course, since that time, many Christian rock groups have crossed over into the mainstream market and became straightforwardly sacrilegious (tic, sort of). Now prepare yourselves for the arrival of Christian rock’s answer to The Archies.
From the people who brought you Messengers of Faith — “Collectible talking figures that recite verses from the Bible!” — meet the “Chosen Girls”! Trinity, Melody, and Harmony. Their creators describe them as follows:
Chosen Girls is a cross cultural girl lifestyle brand that celebrates faith and ignites spiritual vision in those looking for a timeless message in a hip production. The brand promises to touch girls worldwide with a distinct message that says “Don’t be afraid to take a stand — you’re worth it!” Chosen Girls inspires and empowers youth to authentically live their beliefs in a fashionable, trend forward way.
Having endured my children’s fascination with Power Rangers, Pokemon, and Kim Possible, perhaps I should view the Chosen Girls as an upgrade, but I don’t. I hope the Chosen Girls and their “Christian punk rock fashions” wither on the vine. It is inconceivable to me that these cartoon characters could “ignite spiritual vision” in my children, any more than watching Pokemon could cause them to shoot lasers from their eyes or squirt water from their fingers. More importantly, the creators of the Pokemon characters aren’t holding Pikachu out as a role model.
By the way, I have no idea what it means to “authentically live [one's] beliefs in a fashionable, trend forward way.” Perhaps some of you New Yorkers or Angelenos can educate this benighted Midwesterner.