“December is run by women”

December 24, 2004 | 7 comments
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Very little regarding Christmas happens in the Smith household without my wife’s instigation. Although I enjoy our Christmas traditions, I too often free-ride on her efforts.

Despite incessant guilt over my Christmas indolence, I had to laugh at this story from Knoxville, Tennessee. You should read the whole story, but here is an excerpt of a breakfast conversation between the author and her husband:

“December is run by women,” I told him. “It doesn’t matter if it’s Hannukah, Kwanzaa or Christmas, women do it all. Without women, holiday cookies wouldn’t be baked, Christmas cards wouldn’t be sent, and kids wouldn’t see Santa at the mall.”

I paused for a moment while the waitress took our order, then continued to rant.

“If women didn’t do the shopping, kids really would get coal for Christmas. Actually, coal is too hard to find. If it were left up to men, kids would just get sticks gathered from around the yard. And I guarantee, the sticks wouldn’t be picked up until the day before Christmas, and then only if they were on sale!”

Our food arrived a few minutes later. I attacked my pumpkin pancakes with righteous zeal. My husband was unusually quiet. I watched him move his hash browns slowly around his plate without taking a bite. Finally he spoke. “So would now be a bad time to ask you what you picked out for my mother this year?” he said.

Hat tip to Kirsten at Re:invention Blog.

7 Responses to “December is run by women”

  1. Rosalynde Welch on December 24, 2004 at 12:12 pm

    This is really funny, Gordon.

    The greatest Christmas present my husband gave me this year was to suggest, unbidden, that the family gather around the piano to sing Christmas carols, and then to proceed to gather the family and facilitate the singing. He may have actually enjoyed the evening himself–but I think, more than that, he knew I would enjoy it (which I did, greatly), and knew that I would enjoy him organizing it. Thanks, John!

  2. Derek on December 24, 2004 at 12:54 pm

    Makes you wonder what we’re missing out on by not having a third gender.

  3. JL on December 24, 2004 at 1:17 pm

    Does this mean I was supposed to be a man? So, where’s my wife to send my Christmas cards, bake my cookies, and buy my mother a present? It’s the 24th and the shopping I have completed=0. Shopping I have attempted=0. Presents I thought about buying people=0. Cards? LOL, I can barely remember that it’s December!

  4. Sarah on December 24, 2004 at 8:07 pm

    My mom’s in law school, my younger sister and I worked at Harry & David’s distribution/call center this year, and the youngest sister can’t drive yet. My stepfather is a consultant for IBM (his Atlanta assignment just ended).

    I didn’t *start* shopping till today, and the only reason Christmas decorations happened to any extent at all is because my sister stayed up later than she should have three nights in a row. Everyone’s wrapping gifts now, for the most part. Thank goodness for the snowstorm that took out our electricity yesterday; it kept me from work and let me actually get gifts (though lots of places were closed).

    Oh, and none of the presents for my out of town relatives have been bought yet. ^_^

    I think maybe it’s that December is run by those who have the spare time.

  5. David King Landrith on December 24, 2004 at 10:50 pm

    I guess the thing I don’t much like about the title of this post is that implies that someone else rules the other months.

  6. Gordon Smith on December 25, 2004 at 1:34 am

    Not necessarily, David. It could imply that no one is in charge of the other months. Or, if said in response to a challenge, that all of the months are run by women, including December.

  7. David King Landrith on December 25, 2004 at 4:48 pm

    Thanks for the clarification, Gordon. I can now show your (rather clever) post to my wife without fear of reprisal.