Welcome, Ryan Bell.

November 1, 2004 | 7 comments

If a demographer drew a line around the Salt Lake City area and then filtered out all but the LDS attorneys with a beautiful wife and two kids, he’d still have quite a crowd.

Let’s suppose the demographer drew tighter circles within that circle. He could first circle the bloggers, and then the bloggern, and then the bloggern with coblogger brothers, or who were EOB.* Maybe the demographer could make circles based on some of the unique connections we learned about in Six Degrees of Times and Seasons. Maybe he’d rely on unique talents and life-changing experiences we know nothing about. But he’d eventually end up with just one circle containing a sheepish Ryan Bell, looking apprehensively at the crowd of people on the outside and at the gigantic pencil that kept boxing him in.

Ryan Bell tells me that his biography and personal details don’t matter much. I should just make something up, he says. I decline. Truth is stranger than fiction and more interesting. What’s more, in Mormonism I doubt that there’s anything much like a disembodied truth. Whatever Ryan Bell’s message, it comes from the man.

So I give you the once and the future, the eternal, and the only Ryan Bell.

* Enemies of Bob. It’s more or less like Friends of Bill, with a few obvious differences.

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7 Responses to Welcome, Ryan Bell.

  1. Kristine on November 1, 2004 at 3:56 pm

    Welcome, R-bone!

    (Sorry, Davis)

  2. Ryan Bell on November 1, 2004 at 6:56 pm

    Kristine, if that nickname ever comes up again, I will renounce my membership in the online community forever. Man, it’s just gross.

  3. Kristine on November 1, 2004 at 7:15 pm

    Sorry! Hey, blame your brother.

    (for the record, and in case you need to similarly abuse me at some point, my brothers call me Schnork)

  4. Ryan Bell on November 1, 2004 at 7:27 pm

    Geez, and after I said you could be played by Teri Polo. (I think that’s at least a moderate compliment– Better than Breckin Meyer).

  5. Kristine on November 1, 2004 at 7:44 pm

    Thank you for the moderate compliment. All the other compliments have been completely over-the-top. (Actually, Teri Polo is several orders of magnitude better-looking than I am, so it wasn’t really that moderate.)

  6. Silus Grok on November 1, 2004 at 8:27 pm

    So are we to understand that EOB is not in some way related to FOD*?

    *Friend of Dorothy

  7. Bob Caswell on November 2, 2004 at 9:07 pm

    Enemies of Bob? Wow. Do I feel ever so special! I’ll need to comment more in order for Adam to keep membership high.


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