Jack Mormon

July 30, 2004 | 12 comments

We need a generic name for Latter-day Saints. Americans have Joe Citizen, Joe Sixpack, and John Q. Public. The law has given us John Doe and Richard Roe. We’ve already got Peter Priesthood and Molly Mormon, but those are derogatory. Jack Mormon is perfect but taken. The best I could come up with is Moroni Christofferson and DeAnn Daynes, but surely someone can top that.

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12 Responses to Jack Mormon

  1. Dave on July 30, 2004 at 8:08 pm

    How about Johnny Utah?

  2. Derek on July 30, 2004 at 8:18 pm

    Who has “Jack Mormon”? Do you think they’d negotiate?

    We could take “Jill Mormon” and come up with a sharing agreement.

  3. Adam Greenwood on July 30, 2004 at 8:36 pm

    Sally Deseret.

  4. danithew on July 30, 2004 at 11:40 pm

    Spencer Smith and Becky Young.

  5. Jeremy on July 31, 2004 at 12:23 am

    A few suggestions:

    Postum Pete / Cathy Costco
    Randy Refill-Mug / Betty Bulk-food
    Jonny Lingo / Mahana
    Brother/Sister of Jared (used in roughly the same way that “Friend of Dorothy” identifies members of a certain other group)
    Mahonri Jellobelly

  6. Ethesis (Stephen M) on July 31, 2004 at 1:50 am

    Molly Mormons … especially since “Molly” was the name used by an LDS leftist (the censor bug blocked the other word) organizer who was one of the outsiders who organized against the Somoza government. Gives the term a nice double meaning.

  7. Josh Kim on July 31, 2004 at 3:35 am

    uhhhmm…how about stormin’ mormon?

  8. Jack on July 31, 2004 at 12:52 pm

    joe smith

  9. Philocrites on July 31, 2004 at 1:25 pm

    Mo Zion. (Mo for short, from Motown. Jim.F could be the pomo Mo pro.)

    But I’d gladly second Postum Pete and Cathy Costco.

  10. Eric James Stone on August 2, 2004 at 1:56 am

    When I was at Baylor Law School, the Con Law professor used to use Jack or Molly Mormon as plaintiffs in free exercise clause hypotheticals.

  11. Josiah on August 2, 2004 at 12:27 pm

    Lucy Dimona Sky.

  12. danithew on August 10, 2004 at 3:06 pm


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