Shape-Shifting Lizards — Could They Be in Your Ward?

May 13, 2004 | 9 comments
By

Since some readers may lack the stamina to wade through 200 comments on the Elite Religion thread, let me make a separate note of a gem of a website mentioned by Dan Peterson. Dan writes:

For those who’ve wondered — and (let’s be truthful) who hasn’t? — whether the Church is actually controlled by demonic entities in the form of reptilian humanoids, or lizard men, you’ll find the evidence you’ve been seeking on this explosive Web site.

The web site is at This Link, and is mostly links to other sites with more, err, evidence. And don’t let anyone fool you — decide for yourself whether or not “Brigham Young was a reptilian shape-shifter that totally brainwashed founder Joseph Smith”!

(Perhaps this explains Eric’s Stone’s Star Trek enthusiasm (recall the Kirk-versus-the-Lizard episode) — and doesn’t Eric look just a little bit like a lizard-man in that picture with Mr. Scott? Also, note that the Post of the Month for April was the only submission with the word “Lizard” in the title. Coincidence? You decide.)

UPDATE: Moments after posting, I noticed an even more alarming piece of evidence. A number of Mormon blogs, including Tutissima and the aforementioned Eric James Stone, contain the same ominous lines:

“I’m a
Slithering Reptile
in the
TTLB Ecosystem”

(emphasis added).

Of course, T & S does not contain such a line — it claims to be a “rodent.” But remember, people, these are not just ordinary lizards we’re talking about here. These are shape shifting lizards. T & S is doubtless a lizard, which has shape-shifted into a rodent — and that, if anything, is even more ominous.

Tags: , ,

9 Responses to Shape-Shifting Lizards — Could They Be in Your Ward?

  1. Aaron Brown on May 13, 2004 at 9:11 pm

    I’m confused. I thought the _World News Weekly_ had definitively established that Orrin Hatch was a space alien. I always figured that Church leaders must be as well. How do we reconcile the reptilian and demonic aspects of Church leadership with their extra-terrestrial origins? Is it that aliens are reptiles (remember “V”)? Or is that reptiles are aliens? I mean, it was a “snake” in the Garden, you know, rather than a rodent! Coincidence?

    I’m not sure what to make of all this, but one thing’s for sure: These are deep doctrinal questions that are worth a great deal more pondering than they presently receive.

    Aaron B

  2. lyle on May 13, 2004 at 9:42 pm

    Well…some blogs have to become “little rodents” in order to feed the true blogs of the “slithering serphent” masters. :)

  3. John David Payne on May 13, 2004 at 11:52 pm

    Shape-changing reptilian demonic entities? Come on! Everybody knows that it’s the shape-changing reptilian extraterrestrials who control everything. Sheesh!

  4. Jeremy on May 13, 2004 at 11:54 pm

    Is it just me, or do all Mormons get as itchy as I do when they molt?

  5. Adam Greenwood on May 13, 2004 at 11:55 pm

    The MO here seems to be to infiltrate the organization after its up and running, which exonerates the founders and raises the question, what kind of a name is Arben anyway?

  6. Eric James Stone on May 14, 2004 at 1:47 am

    I have responded to these ridiculous accusations on my blog.

    http://ericjamesstone.com/blog/archives/000496.html

  7. Eric James Stone on May 14, 2004 at 1:43 am

    I am not an animal – I am a human being!
    Contrary to the implications made over at Times and Seasons, I am neither a Gorn nor a shapeshifting lizard. And I have photographic evidence to prove it! First, I have this picture of me about to be attacked by a…

  8. Eric James Stone on May 14, 2004 at 1:44 am

    I am not an animal – I am a human being!
    Contrary to the implications made over at Times and Seasons, I am neither a Gorn nor a shapeshifting lizard. And I have photographic evidence to prove it! First, I have this picture of me about to be attacked by a…

  9. Tim Morrison on December 27, 2005 at 6:40 am

    You can eat your lizzards, and your pork and beans
    I’ve eaten more chicken gizzards than you’ve ever seen
    For I am the gypsy, the Lizard King
    Guaranteed to blow your reptialian geneology!

WELCOME

Times and Seasons is a place to gather and discuss ideas of interest to faithful Latter-day Saints.